From the Compost Heap header. A pencil style illustration of a compost heap with flowers and plants growing around it. A bee buzzes by and a white rabbit hops by.
  • Survivor CBS screencap. Eva confides to Joe, "There are times when I get super overstimulated, I call them episodes. I'll be stuck in a loop in my head and the thing that I need to do it to get grounded. What I need from you is getting squeezed. Take my hands and squeeze as much as possible." The second image shows Joe and Eva forehead to forehead squeezing her hands to coregulate.

    This season of Survivor was close to my heart.

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  • Our first picture book proof!

    Here’s an update, on How it Feels to Me, the picture book about neurodiversity I’m co-creating with illustrator Gracie Klumpp.

    We’ve reached the proofing stage!

    I couldn’t be more excited to share a peek our progress!

    Before finalizing color palettes and fonts we decided to order an early proof to see how everything looks on paper. Something I’ve learned about self publishing is that early proofs can really help save time by identifying problems early on before they multiply.

    Gracie put together a few spreads to test colors, fonts, and print quality. (Pinch & zoom to really get a good look on mobile.)

    A rose colored background with various figures hand illustrated under a tree and notes about the different brushes and styles. The character is wearing a sweater vest and plaid pants and is illusrated with a variety of different hair textures and face shapes. One is hanging upside down from a tree branch.

    Lucky we did because we’ve completely changed our printer! (But more about that later.)

    Here’s a really fun spread we’re experimenting with.

    This is a visualization of sensory modulation that invites the reader to turn the book upside down to see how the levels change.

    Volume level and dials across the page. Sounds in the red include siren and wind. Handwritten text reads: Try turning the book upside down! (Then, upside down.) Need to perfect this but, see how the levels are better now? That's sensory modulation. A note compares hard contrast buttons and lower light effect.

    The next spread continues on from the first page, “All brains are different.”

    “Just like all bodies are different.

    We can see some differences, like if someone is tall or has curly hair, but we can’t see people’s brains.”

    A cream page with a layer of grid paper cutout to depict a city skyline. Characters are illustrated in different body types, races, and ages. Some are quick sketches and those toward the front are more complete. To the right is a dark skinned character with curly hair and a blue halo of photographed objects surrounding them. The objects include: blue objects including seaweed, shells, and a ticket stub.

    Here’s one more peek at some of the character work Gracie has been doing. I love seeing the concepts I’ve written about come to life!

    Cream page with pencil style illustrations of a character in a plaid sweatervest. They have curly hair and mid tone skin. One vignette shows them looking through a kaleidescope. Another holding a teacup and tasting the tea with head turned and lips pursed. Another squatting down and smelling a flower. One holding a bunny on their shoulder. One holding a soda and listening to the bubbles with little popping stars around their head.

    These aren’t even finalized illustrations, but I’m already in love.

    Two days before my birthday I opened a box to find this beauty inside…

    My pale hand holding a copy of How it Feels to Me. A dark skinned human standing at the center is surrounded by a halo of objects: tokens, leaves, a traffic cone, seashell, and more color swatches. Written by Sarah Shotts. Illustrated by Gracie Klumpp.

    Holding the proof in my hands was absolutely magical. It’s real. We are making this book.

    And (unfortunately) it’s more needed than ever.*

    Imagine my surprise when I opened the cover found someone else’s book inside.

    The first 2/3 of the proof were pages from a completely different picture book. 🤯

    I immediately texted Gracie to check the second proof. It had a completely different (but equally egregious) error. That edition had a huge white bar down the center.

    The way this printer works these books were considered “final” and not “proofs.” †

    Needless to say we are investigating different printers.

    We’re currently exploring 48 Hour Books.

    There are some pros and cons.

    The quality will be excellent. We’re very happy with the sample book they provided.

    But, the books are going to cost more than we budgeted. We haven’t finalized how much this will be yet. 48 Hour Books just invested in new printers and updated prices aren’t out yet. But the difference is considerable.

    We’ll also be required to purchase a full print run (with a minimum of 100 books) rather than print on demand. This is the only way for the price of each book to come even close to our original budget.

    There’s also the small matter that each proof will now be $40 instead of the budgeted $20. But this price difference ensures books (and proofs) are made with care.

    I’m prepared (and able) to cover the difference in cost, but if you’d like to pitch in you can send donations via Venmo. I’ll share more concrete information about the pricing differences once we have that.

    Is this the first time you’ve heard about How it Feels to Me?

    Here’s a video from our crowdfunding campaign sharing the inspiration behind the book and our goals for self publishing.

    If you haven’t preordered a copy yet you can preorder here.

    Changing printers will definitely extend our timeline.

    But we’re confident it will be worth the wait.

    While we wait for 48 Hour Books to update their printers Gracie will continue refining the illustrations. Allowing me bandwidth to focus on proofs for Entwined & Ember (this is a big year for me!)

    THANK YOU SO MUCH, each and every one of you, for all the ways you’ve supported this project!

    We appreciate you.

    P.S. If you’d like to support the project and don’t need a copy of the book you can also choose to donate a copy which will go to a school, library, or a neurodivergent family in financial hardship.**

    preorder or donate a book
    footnotes

    * The US Government has recently categorized autism and ADHD as “epidemics” and is spreading harmful misinformation. I addressed it briefly in my new post titled, What is Autism?

    † The printer was Ingram Spark, for the curious. We’d already dismissed Amazon for the hardcover edition. (Although we plan to release a paperback through Amazon later on to make the book as easy to find and accessible as possible.)

    ** If you donate a book we are happy to find the book a home or to send it to the school or library of your choice.

    Read more: Our first picture book proof!

  • I thought my character flaws were all the times I made mistakes.

    Turns out my character flaw was believing I could be perfect.

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  • Therapeutic weeding. The front bed is overrun with witch grass because I wasn’t well enough to garden last year, but reclaiming it one patch at a time. Excited about our first sea holly – it’s a variety called Hobbit.

    Runner grass surrounding plants in the garden bed. My rainboot, a narrow widger, and a sea holly are also visible.
    Mulch surrounding sea holly, sage, and russian sage with tall grass growing beyond.
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  • Fence of treated wood opens on a patch of blue and white wildflowers in our backyard under a gray cloudy sky.
    Blue and white wildflowers with a mown path leading to a fence of treated wood.

    I really prefer British style fences, but with the wildflowers blooming I am coming around to ours.

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  • Laptop with yellow hobbit hole wallpaper. An edison bulb lamp sheds a dim golden glow on a goddess vase filled with pens. The workspace is otherwise shrouded in darkness.

    Have I mentioned I set up a desk in our living room? I’ve been using it since January or February. It was especially nice when the severe winter weather meant I couldn’t use the studio.

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  • Black and white photograph of a blood lab with materials for drawing blood arranged in a grid on the wall.

    New doctor new bloodwork. I’ll be writing about chronic illness soon so I thought I’d take a photo while I waited for the nurse.

    Read more: untitled post 156078921
  • A tiny oak tree sprouting from an acorn in a mason jar full of water.

    We found this beauty when we were weeding the mulch under the jungle gym. A fascinating science project to see how an acorn sprouts into a mighty oak.

    Read more: untitled post 156078918

  • What is autism? (Part One)

    The most important thing to understand about autism (and more broadly neurodivergence) is that every person is unique.

    You may have heard “autism is a spectrum.” This is because there isn’t one way to be autistic. There is a spectrum of experience.

    But, this isn’t a rainbow from “less autistic” to “more autistic”.

    Autism Spectrum The Autism Spectrum is NOT linear (rainbow bar chart) less autistic very autistic The Autism Spectrum looks more like (a color wheel): Social differences interests repetitions sensory sensitivities emotional regulation perception executive functioning other (Each wedge of the color wheel is filled in to different degrees.) Terms like "high functioning", "low functioning" and "Asperger" are harmful and outdated.
    via autism_sketches on instagram †

    In my experience it is more like a color wheel that’s constantly in motion.

    via felipe Pantone on INSTAGRAM ‡

    The reason I describe the autism spectrum as in motion or flux is that my experience varies wildly based on external and internal factors (environment, clothing, health, access to supports, hunger, anxiety, etc.) This means my capacity varies from day to day and moment to moment.

    I also find that my autistic traits are almost always rooted in sensory differences. So this a helpful place to start. I made this video to share my experience of overstimulation. (There’s also a shorter 30 second version here.)

    That’s how it feels (for me) to experience sensory overload or overstimulation. The internal sensation can range from something like overwhelm and numbness to physical pain depending on the trigger. Remember this varies from person to person.

    Why do I feel things so intensely?

    Why might an autistic person experience “normal” sensory input as pain or sensory overload? Because our brains process information differently.

    Take a look at this brain scan.

    Two brain scans. The one on the left is a rainbow web reaching into all areas of the brain. The image on the right is a rainbow ribbon traveling along the language center of the brain.
    Image Credit: schneider lab §

    The scan on the left is an autistic brain processing language.

    The scan on the right is someone without autism.

    I love this image because you can see how much more information an autistic person is processing at any given moment. The non autistic brain is using a process called sensory modulation to focus on the speaker’s voice. The autistic brain continues taking in lots of other information simultaneously.

    I believe understanding sensory modulation is essential for properly empathizing with and supporting autistic individuals of all ages.

    That’s why I co-created the book How it Feels to Me a book about neurodiversity and sensory processing.

    How it Feels to Me book cover by Sarah Shotts and Gracie Klumpp. Shows a child with hands raised and a rainbow collage of objects shown above.

    * I have been professionally diagnosed with autism, but also have traits of ADHD such as time blindness and difficulties with object constancy. Having knowledge of these traits and functional coping strategies I have no interest in pursuing an ADHD diagnosis at this time.

    † Illustration by @autistic_sketches on Instagram

    ‡ Artwork via Felipe Pantone on Instagram

    § Brain Scan images via Schneider Lab

    ** Neurotype is a term used to describe your brain’s processing style: autistic, ADHD, OCD, etc. If you are not neurodivergent your neurotype is neurotypical. Being neurotypical just means that your brain is processing the world like most others. This means the dominant culture has been made to support the way your brain processes the world around you. You are surrounded by supports for your neurotype every single day.

    † † Printable Cards from Sensory Diet Workbook by Harkla (Affiliate Link)

    Sensory Diet Workbook
    Read more: What is autism? (Part One)
  • A pile of weeds from the wildflower area of our backyard and a green nitrile glove.

    This is the first year I’ve been well enough to really spend time weeding the wildflower area of our garden. Years past I’ve let the seeds go truly wild and only pulled a few “mean dandelions” (you know, the spiky ones) and weeds I suspected might be poisonous. This year I’m enjoying sitting among the bachelor buttons and pulling up plants that are less desirable so we have fewer weedy seedlings competing with wildflowers next year.

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