I didn’t choose a word last year. Or the year before that. I’ve been in a metaphorical hibernation since Davy was born. Snug and still even before 2020 locked us all down.
These 18 months have been a time of dreaming and ideation. I have had more creative ideas during postpartum than any other time in my life.
Yet, action came in waves.
Small lapping pond waters.
Occasional crashing whitecaps.
Doodles and book drafts.
It was inconsistent, but it kept me afloat. The ideas I didn’t have time or energy to complete I gathered up and squirreled away for another time.
I’ve chosen the word MAKE for 2021 because I want to establish a daily creative practice. To put those ideas I’ve collected to use.
I want to make more art, but gently. I need flexibility to tend a sick babe or adjust my pace to avoid burnout. Some days I might paint or weave and others I might make beans on toast. Both are equally valid.
It’s an invitation to create everyday and a curiosity to see how that unfolds.
If you’d like to follow along I’ll be writing about my year of making in my newsletter. I’ll drop an opt in box here to make it easy.
P.S. After drafting this post I did a search for “year of making” and rediscovered Kim Werker who I followed what feels like a lifetime ago. I must have been riding some subconscious inspiration. Kim’s year of making was in turn inspired by Miriam Felton so it’s one big beautiful swirl of inspiration. 🌀
If you want to join in just use their hashtag #yearofmaking.
I’ve always been envious of Emily Starr’s singular focus on her Alpine Path. Her one true passion was writing, and she always knew what she wanted to achieve. My creative endeavors are more… varied.
I’ll gather up a handful to paint a picture for you.
I’ve drafted novels, thrown pots, directed plays, painted landscapes, photographed weddings, cross stitched samplers, planted gardens, made mosaics, designed websites, produced short films, dipped candles, made flower crowns, designed logos, stage managed, blogged, vlogged, danced en pointe, painted posters, designed gravestones, baked cakes, bound books, sewn pockets, developed my own photographs, scrapbooked, acted, silk screened, written for a magazine, learned Irish step dancing, embroidered hoops, written plays & performed puppetry…
The list goes on.
I still want to learn to play the ukulele, crochet & needlefelt.
University was a beautiful time of reckless curiosity for me. I studied anything that sparked my interest, even taking classes that didn’t count toward my degrees.
But when I started a photography business I told myself that any other creative projects were a waste of time.
I continually make the mistake of trying to “specialize.”
Telling myself that I have to choose one art form and practice it exclusively. Even so, my focus shifted from photography to cinematography to blogging to vlogging to sticker making…
I clearly lack the ability to stick to one specific thing.
Each time I told myself that my new passion would be “it.”
Then, about a year ago, I made the tough decision to close down my photography business. It was incredibly freeing. I made discoveries about my creative process, improved my mental health, and realized I had developed a chronic illness that was draining a lot of my energy. I was able to slow down and take care of me.
I’ve had a bit of a rebirth this year. I’m feeling more myself than I have since my years in college.
I chose “create” as my word for 2017, which quickly transformed into “dabble”. Instead of creating and marketing products I began to kindle my curiosity.
After a year of creating just to create I’ve realized that I’m never going to find a single art form that defines my identity as an artist.
So I’ve stopped searching for it.
I’m embracing my identity as a Renaissance Soul and am chasing curiosity with wild abandon.
We each have our own memories tied to food… The healing properties of Mamaw’s chicken and rice. Standing on the kitchen stool to help make cranberry relish for Thanksgiving. Licking the beaters at Nonnie’s house after making cake.
Revisiting a cherished family recipe can be as powerful as stepping into a time machine.
Your recipe may be a curry or a gumbo or a tortilla depending on where you are in the world, but there is a universal language of love in the family kitchen.
I never knew my own grandmother, but I grew up eating Mamaw’s chicken dumplins every February at our home gymnastics meet. (She was our gymnastics coach’s mother.) It was the highlight of my year. When I started learning to cook I asked for the recipe, but was told it’s not a recipe that can be written down. It’s done by sight and feel as much as measurements so I went off to college without learning the secrets.
In fact no one in Mamaw’s family knew the recipe… not her daughters, not her granddaughters, absolutely no one else knew how to make them.
When I was planning our wedding I knew that I wanted Mamaw to make her chicken dumplins and she graciously brought two giant crockpots to our Mississippi reception. Moving to Northwest Arkansas I realized my chance to learn this recipe was getting smaller. So, somewhat selfishly, I asked Mamaw’s granddaughter Rachel if she’d like to make a video where she learned firsthand how to make from scratch chicken dumplins. She loved the idea and we set a date.
My heart grew three sizes editing the video. As my Papa would say, “it warmed the cockles of my heart.” I had never been so connected with a project before. Video turned out to be a perfect way to document a family recipe… it caught nuances and texture that recipe cards miss. Rachel caught Mamaw doing things she didn’t even realize she was doing. The recipe had become such second nature to her she didn’t even realize all of the steps she was taking herself.
But what really made me glow with happiness was the heartwarming connection. Mamaw wasn’t performing the recipe for camera. She was teaching Rachel and the moments happening between them were magic. I felt so blessed to document it.
What’s your favorite family recipe? Let’s chat in comments.
Raise your hand if you struggle to make time for yourself.
…it may be time for a Yes Hiatus.
We can be incredibly hard on ourselves. Our unrealistic expectations of what we can accomplish and what we are responsible for are our worst kryptonite.
We have to learn to say no sometimes.
Last September I hit a wall. I didn’t realize I was saying yes to everything until it was all happening at once.
– My first time selling handmade goods {anywhere} at AWBU. – Photographing a wedding. – {Almost} singlehandedly planning a Shakespeare festival. – Teaching an online Theatre Appreciation class. – Prepping for Project STIR‘s unrealistic original launch date. – Attempting to start a blogger group for my alma mater.
and…
the straw that broke the camel’s back… spontaneously agreeing to do an urban family photo shoot to get featured on a local blog {even though urban family photos aren’t really my thing…}
I found myself in full on overwhelm-mode.
But I still didn’t question the amount of projects I was working on until I was chatting to some of my friends. They were shocked at everything I was trying to juggle at one time.
That night was a real wakeup call for me.
I realized I had to stop saying yes to every opportunity that came my way. I had to give myself room to breathe or I was going to crash and burn. I couldn’t drop everything I’d already committed to, but I could stop saying yes to new things.
So I started a Yes Hiatus until February of 2015. And it was magical. I didn’t realize how many opportunities I was automatically saying yes to until I put the kibosh on it. And, yes, it was hard, but it was so worth it.
My biggest lesson was that the responses I got from saying no weren’t those I expected. I was afraid I’d hurt feelings or be looked down on or those opportunities would disappear if I didn’t grab them. But the opposite happened.
When a new friend I’d met at the blogging conference asked me to guest blog and I said no {the first no of my Yes Hiatus} I was blown away with her reaction…
“I hear ya!!! Thanks for keeping it real. And, I admire your boundaries. I’m finding I’m getting there myself!”
She was actually rooting for me. Good first step.
Then the no’s got harder. I was offered an opportunity to be January Blogger of the Month for Arkansas Women Bloggers. This was something I’d been secretly wishing for, and it was incredibly hard to turn down.
I explained my Yes Hiatus and asked if it would be possible to be Blogger of the Month later in the year. Now I’m scheduled to be ARWB of the Month in May.
{That was easy.}
This strategy really helped me keep my sanity throughout the last few months of 2015. I’d have had a complete mental breakdown if I hadn’t done it.
The added benefit of referring to it as a Yes Hiatus, which I actively called it during my experiment, is that it feels less negative than a straight no. So it can ease you into the idea of turning things down.
To be completely honest, a yes or two did slip in…
But only after initially telling myself “No” and then weighing pros & cons. I did end up flying to San Fransisco during my hiatus to see April Bowles-Olin on Creative Live. I really would have regretting passing that opportunity up and am so glad I went.
It’s been a few months since I ended my hiatus, and there are a few overarching lessons I’ve taken to heart. Tweet out your favorite!
1. Saying no isn’t the end of the world. It doesn’t always disappoint the way we imagine it will. It doesn’t make opportunities go away forever.
2. Saying no makes your yes stronger. By not spreading yourself to thin you’re able to put more energy and effort into the things you do say yes to.
3. Don’t let your automatic answer be yes. This experiment has definitely made me more aware of my tendency to take on too many projects. And it’s made my yes less automatic. Which is definitely a good thing.
When was the last time you hit overwhelm-mode? What do you think of trying a Yes Hiatus the next time it happens? Let’s chat in comments.
When I asked this question on Instagram most answers were related to travel… maps, new places, trains, taxis, sandy toes, gas stations. Perhaps you thought of a plane or a passport.
Travel is definitely one way to experience adventure {and one of my favorites.} But it’s not the only way. Today we’re reframing adventure to see how it can fit into our daily lives.
When you take a photograph you choose what to put in the frame. More sky or more land? Zoom in or zoom out? It’s the same with life. You can point your internal cameras at the word adventure and tell yourself that it’s not for you. I don’t have the money. I don’t have the time. It’s not my season.
Or you can choose to widen your frame to include more possibilities. Start to look for the opportunities for adventure that are all around you!
Pardon me while I push up my glasses and pull out the dictionary definition…
I think most of us tend to associate adventure with the first definition above… something unusual and kind of dangerous like mountain climbing or hang gliding.
But I’m more interested in the second. It’s about our individual enthusiasm & resourcefulness. I love this definition because it allows us the full scope to determine what’s daring & exciting for us.
Remember how the world looked when you were a child? Everything was new and exciting! And somewhere along the way we stopped paying attention. We lost our sense of wonder.
When I was researching for this post {Does that sound dry and boring? It’s just how my Inner Samwise works y’all.} I found this quote by Wilferd Peterson that really resonated with me and was right in line with my philosophy.
“A man practices the art of adventure when he breaks the chain of routine and renews his life through reading new books, traveling to new places, making new friends, taking up new hobbies, and adopting new viewpoints.”
– Wilfred Peterson, The Art of Living
First of all, I LOVE that he calls it the art of adventure! There’s a creativity in living your life this way even if you never pick up a paintbrush.
And I wholeheartedly agree… if it breaks up your routine and gives you a new perspective it’s definitely an adventure! Whether that’s reading a book, trying a new food, knitting a scarf, visiting a local museum or going for a hike.
So that’s one definition of adventure… something that interrupts the monotony of the day to day. Another is simply changing our perspective of what’s already there. I love this quote too…
Planting a garden? Adventure!
Trying a new recipe? Adventure!
Trip to the thrift store? Adventure!
Choose to look at your life through the lens of adventure and you may be amazed what you find.
“One way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure.” – William Feather
What adventures have you had lately? Let’s chat in comments.
Sometimes we so admire the beauty we see in others that we don’t see what’s beautiful about ourselves.
I’m not talking about physical attributes here, although that happens too… I mean our innate strengths and personality traits. As a fairly analytical person in a creative field this is something I constantly struggle with… like a hobbit wishing to be an elf.
This week I was planning to blog about reframing adventure, but after listening to the She Percolates podcast about self doubt I decided to write this post first.
Earlier last year, I had an especially strong wave of this type of self doubt, when I took Sally Hogshead’s Fascinate test. I’d seen her on Marie Forleo and loved the idea that we all have our own secret sauce that fascinates others.
That is… until I got THE MOST BORING RESULTS EVER.
I was The Ace.*
Tireless, Decisive and Goal Oriented.
Perfect traits for my previous role as a Stage Manager in professional theatre, but decidedly less wondersome for pursing my own creativity as a storyteller, photographer & filmmaker. It made me question the move from organizing other creatives to creating work of my own.
It happened all over again doing homework for April Bowles-Olin’s blogging class. Asking my friends about my strengths I was similarly disenchanted with the results…
Organization
Self Motivation
Dependability
Focus
Attention to Detail
Patience
Loyalty
Creativity
Kindness
(One person threw Creativity in there, but it almost felt like I was being tossed a bone.)
Fast forward several months… I’d continued shoving these feelings of inadequacy down determined to pursue my creative path in spite of them and found myself flying cross country to Creative Live. (Turns out one of my other traits as The Ace is “a relentless pursuit of what you believe in.”)
Serendipitously I ended up with Kris with a K as my roomie.
One evening I confided to Kris that I was disappointed with my interview results. After all, who wants to read an adventure blog by someone who is dependable?
And then (cause Kris with a K is magic like that) she reframed what I was secretly ashamed of into something I could see value and potential in.
She said I was Samwise Gamgee.
Kris spoke directly into to my little geeky heart.
Now, to be honest, I prefer Gandalf with his mystique and gnarled magical staff.
I always choose to play a wizard in fantasy games. (Yep, I play Dungeons & Dragons… you got a problem with that?)
I see now that I wanted to be the wizard in real life too… someone mysterious and alluring. But I’m much more straightforward than than. More hobbit-like.
So while I wouldn’t have chosen to be Samwise, neither can I dismiss him. I can see his worth. Without Sam, Frodo never would have made it to Mordor.
Even Dean Winchester gives him a pass. †
I’d be lying if I said I’d immediately fallen in love with all of my dependable qualities, but I’m making a real effort to embrace my inner Samwise. So you might notice a few more hobbit holes around these parts.
Because I know there’s a strength to being dedicated and organized and hard working. And I never wanted to be the adventurer jumping out of airplanes and visiting every country in the world. I want to help you see the beauty in the ordinary and the adventure in the everyday.
That is very Samwise of me. He was a gardener after all.
When I went back and looked at my homework assignment with fresh eyes I saw that my friend had actually said I was wonderfully creative. And another described me as quietly adventurous during our time in Greece.
It’s all in how we frame it, and the compliments we allow ourselves to see and accept.
This week I dug back into my Tolkien books and films to “research”. And I fell in love with this quote (from this scene) in the Fellowship of the Ring film.
I love that sentiment.
Because you don’t need to go mountain climbing to have adventure in your life. There’s so much to celebrate in the simple beauty of the everyday and viewing each new morning as the start of a fresh adventure.
If you’re feeling self doubt about your own strengths I encourage you to seek out a friend who can help you see them as they do.
Let’s muddle through this together and jump in even if we’re feeling doubtful.
Because we don’t give up.
What are your struggles with self doubt? Let’s open up a real dialogue. If anyone comes along and tries to judge you I’ll drub them across the head with my garden shovel.
Cheers,
Sarah
* Update 2025: This is kind of funny considering how I now identify as Ace.
† Dean Winchester quoting Samwise Gamgee in the show Supernatural.
I was in the UK hiking through the Scottish Highlands. He was in the US buying a house in Northwest Arkansas. Even a world apart we managed to find each other.
We may have had a little help from technology. Swapping emails, Skype video calls, and playing lots of Tetris online meant that we knew each other really well before we ever met face-to-face. We were even able to write old fashioned love letters that are now tied in a ribbon and tucked into my hope chest.
It didn’t take long after we met to realize Nathan was the one. Isn’t he adorable?
Growing up I wasn’t one of those girls who planned her wedding from the age of five, but as I was falling for Nathan I started imagining ours. I knew I wanted our wedding to reflect our personalities. Green converse (our favorite color), nerdy details, and a relaxed atmosphere.
Because my friends & family were in Mississippi and Nathan’s were in Oklahoma & Arkansas the logistics started to run away from us. Wherever we placed the wedding half of the guests would have a 12-hour trek and some just wouldn’t be able to make it that far. Wherever the wedding was I knew I wanted everything to be showered in natural light for beautiful photographs, and spent weeks searching for the perfect venue.
We ended up with the best of both worlds. We had a small intimate ceremony with immediate family at Devil’s Den State Park in Winslow, AR. Then in the weeks to follow we had celebrations in each of our stompin’ grounds.
Now I wouldn’t have it any other way. The low key, relaxed atmosphere allowed us to focus on each other and the commitment we were making. My brother-in-law livestreamed the wedding to Papa who couldn’t make it and was watching from his care home. Some of our other friends and family also joined the livestream. With families members gathered under a towering tree we exchanged vows in an intimate ceremony.
As a wedding photographer, I’ve seen too many kids stuffed in itchy outfits and expected to behave like adults. We decided to let the kids do their own thing and it was perfect. (Even in it’s imperfection.)
Following the ceremony a mini reception was set up on the stone wall by the overlook. We had a simple wedding cake topped with white hydrangeas. We’d also used hydrangeas to make my bridal bouquet and for the flower girls to toss. We’d baked Star Wars cookies earlier in the week (and had LEGO candy in leui of wedding mints). Nathan & I cut the cake and toasted Mountain Dew in glass bottles. Afterwards a few hikers stopped by with well wishes. It was all beautifully simple.
With friends and family all over the globe I decided to have a postcard guest book. Those present chose postcards from a selection we had and faraway friends mailed postcards from places like London, Canada, Turkey & the Netherlands. I’m going to bind them together into a book. Our wedding program was also pretty unique. Nathan’s a computer programmer so I asked him to write our wedding in code and we used that for the program (below center). It was pretty awesome.
Did I mention there was a light saber battle between Best Man & Maid of Honor? (I never even knew this happened until we got the photos.)
Our wedding day was just the beginning of a wonderful adventure.
The year before I went to grad school I binge watched a lot of Jamie Oliver cooking shows with my family. And I fell in love with the idea of cooking with fresh herbs. They’re kinda pricey to buy at the supermarket so a small herb garden seemed like the best solution. Sadly student housing isn’t the best place to grow herbs so it was a dream I had to put off.
When I moved into our house in NW Arkansas I was most excited about the little garden plot out back. I could already imagine the scent of freshly grown basil, thyme & oregano {and tossing them into my dishes.} I make no claims at being an expert cook, but thanks to Pioneer Woman and Jamie Oliver I’m taking a good stab at learning.
Once I’d finished weeding and plopped the little plants into the fresh garden soil I was pretty proud of myself. What a difference!
This isn’t a DIY post because I’m far from qualified to write one. Maybe I’ll do some gardening tips posts in the future. (Once I know what I’m doing.)
I just left my little plot in Nathan’s hands while I’m in Mississippi. So excited to be here to tell Mary Anna & Caleb’s wedding story.
Leave your gardening tips and stories in the comments below!
I’ve put together some of our favorite support tools for autism & neurodivergence: fidgets, timers, art supplies (art is so beneficial for self regulation), and books.
Self Regulation Tools
The remaining links point toward Amazon for now because it is the most accessible source for most people. Please consider that many autistic and neurodivergent people rely on Amazon for products they need.*
We need to support our own nervous systems so we can make the changes we want to see in the world.
If you prefer to shop elsewhere you are invited to do so. Simply use these product pages as jumping off points to find similar items in indie shops. If you purchase through these links I receive a very tiny referral fee.
If you’re new to the idea of sensory regulation this is a great resource. It is geared toward kids, but much of it is also applicable to adults. Our needs don’t disappear – we just get older. (Affiliate Link)
* Reasons why autistic people rely on Amazon may include: overstimulation when shopping, chronic illness, under-employment, or rural locations where products are simply not available.
I’m an autistic adult and parent of an autistic child. After years of internalizing my neurodivergent traits as “flaws” my child’s diagnosis changed everything for me. Learning about how autistic brains are wired helped me begin to reframe autistic traits as differences and find ways to better support both of us.
Here is what I wish I’d known about myself growing up.
WHAT IS NEURODIVERGENCE?What is autism?What is overstimluation?SENSORY PROCESSING WORKSHOP
“On the Spectrum”
When we talk about autism or neurodivergence we often mention a spectrum. Sometimes this is misunderstood as a range of intensity from “more” to “less.” But you cannot be “more” or “less” autistic or neurodivergent.
I made a zine to illustrate the complexity and nuance of being “on the spectrum.” You can read it here.
Celebrating Autism
On a personal note, I made this video to celebrate my child’s autism diagnosis and share the news with our family. I really recommend framing a diagnosis of autism or ADHD as a positive milestone and celebrating it as such. We celebrate the anniversary of our diagnosis each year as our Neurotype Day.*
High Masking
It’s really important that parents consider whether they might be neurodivergent themselves. Autism and other types of neurodivergence are genetic. If you child is on the spectrum there is high chance one or both parents are also.
Even if you don’t have enough traits for a diagnosis recognizing and supporting your neurodivergent traits is really critical.
Daniella (@autism.conmigo) is an Autistic + ADHD parent of 2 autistic kids with a doctorate degree in education. She offers 1:1 support and consultations.
I’ve worked with Daniella personally and highly recommend her for support home educating or advocating for your kids within traditional schools.
Support Tools & Further Reading
Click here for links to my favorite fidgets, sensory reset tools, and books.
How it Feels to Me
You may also be interested my picture book, How it Feels to Me – an introduction to sensory processing for readers of all ages.
