It’s finally here!
Click below to watch a tour of my new studio.
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My Year of Making (January Recap)
Read more: My Year of Making (January Recap)When I started my year of making I had intentions for writing weekly updates for my blog or newsletter. Then the month unraveled, our whole family got sick, and I shifted into survival mode.
So I’m giving myself some Brownie points for being flexible (not easy for an Autie) and picking up the pieces to write monthly check ins instead.
The month started by easing in with baking and journaling and photos for Davy’s first (half) day of Montessori school.
Then I tried to calibrate my new Cricut. (It was a hate-hate relationship… in the end I returned it and used the money to buy electroforming supplies instead.)
And the second week we came down sick. First Davy, then the whole family. It was his first time having a fever for anything besides teething. The first few days I kept track of making soup and tea and macaroni out of a box. Then my own fever went up and it was all I could do to just keep us going.
It’s a tribute to what I’ve learned through motherhood that I was able to let that go and look back with empathy instead of self judgement. It was hard.
A couple days out from February we started coming alive again and I resumed my making quest. The final day of January was my first proper day making art in my new studio. I returned to an art project I started in February 2, 2020 and had been on the shelf ever since.
My takeaways from this month?
Sometimes you honor your inner artist by resting and healing. Sometimes making what you need for survival is enough. Other times you have the energy to pick up a long lost project and you stitch two timelines together through the metaphysical magic of time travel.
UPDATE: September 2021
I hid this blog post when I stopped writing monthly updates. At the time I was discouraged because we were sick every month from January – May and my year looked nothing like I had imagined. Looking back I can see how I did keep making (in small and simple ways), but I didn’t have the time or energy to document. Then in June (the first month none of us fell sick) my creative world expanded. If you’re finding it hard to create at the moment I see you. Don’t give up. Take the small moments you can. They count even if no one else is seeing them.
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Embracing my Inner Samwise
Read more: Embracing my Inner SamwiseSometimes we so admire the beauty we see in others that we don’t see what’s beautiful about ourselves.
I’m not talking about physical attributes here, although that happens too… I mean our innate strengths and personality traits. As a fairly analytical person in a creative field this is something I constantly struggle with… like a hobbit wishing to be an elf.
This week I was planning to blog about reframing adventure, but after listening to the She Percolates podcast about self doubt I decided to write this post first.
Earlier last year, I had an especially strong wave of this type of self doubt, when I took Sally Hogshead’s Fascinate test. I’d seen her on Marie Forleo and loved the idea that we all have our own secret sauce that fascinates others.
That is… until I got THE MOST BORING RESULTS EVER.
I was The Ace.*
Tireless, Decisive and Goal Oriented.
Perfect traits for my previous role as a Stage Manager in professional theatre, but decidedly less wondersome for pursing my own creativity as a storyteller, photographer & filmmaker. It made me question the move from organizing other creatives to creating work of my own.
It happened all over again doing homework for April Bowles-Olin’s blogging class. Asking my friends about my strengths I was similarly disenchanted with the results…
- Organization
- Self Motivation
- Dependability
- Focus
- Attention to Detail
- Patience
- Loyalty
- Creativity
- Kindness
(One person threw Creativity in there, but it almost felt like I was being tossed a bone.)
Fast forward several months… I’d continued shoving these feelings of inadequacy down determined to pursue my creative path in spite of them and found myself flying cross country to Creative Live. (Turns out one of my other traits as The Ace is “a relentless pursuit of what you believe in.”)
Serendipitously I ended up with Kris with a K as my roomie.
One evening I confided to Kris that I was disappointed with my interview results. After all, who wants to read an adventure blog by someone who is dependable?
And then (cause Kris with a K is magic like that) she reframed what I was secretly ashamed of into something I could see value and potential in.
She said I was Samwise Gamgee.
Kris spoke directly into to my little geeky heart.
Now, to be honest, I prefer Gandalf with his mystique and gnarled magical staff.
I always choose to play a wizard in fantasy games. (Yep, I play Dungeons & Dragons… you got a problem with that?)
I see now that I wanted to be the wizard in real life too… someone mysterious and alluring. But I’m much more straightforward than than. More hobbit-like.
So while I wouldn’t have chosen to be Samwise, neither can I dismiss him. I can see his worth. Without Sam, Frodo never would have made it to Mordor.
Even Dean Winchester gives him a pass. †
I’d be lying if I said I’d immediately fallen in love with all of my dependable qualities, but I’m making a real effort to embrace my inner Samwise. So you might notice a few more hobbit holes around these parts.
Because I know there’s a strength to being dedicated and organized and hard working. And I never wanted to be the adventurer jumping out of airplanes and visiting every country in the world. I want to help you see the beauty in the ordinary and the adventure in the everyday.
That is very Samwise of me. He was a gardener after all.
When I went back and looked at my homework assignment with fresh eyes I saw that my friend had actually said I was wonderfully creative. And another described me as quietly adventurous during our time in Greece.
It’s all in how we frame it, and the compliments we allow ourselves to see and accept.
This week I dug back into my Tolkien books and films to “research”. And I fell in love with this quote (from this scene) in the Fellowship of the Ring film.
I love that sentiment.
Because you don’t need to go mountain climbing to have adventure in your life. There’s so much to celebrate in the simple beauty of the everyday and viewing each new morning as the start of a fresh adventure.
If you’re feeling self doubt about your own strengths I encourage you to seek out a friend who can help you see them as they do.
Let’s muddle through this together and jump in even if we’re feeling doubtful.
Because we don’t give up.
What are your struggles with self doubt? Let’s open up a real dialogue. If anyone comes along and tries to judge you I’ll drub them across the head with my garden shovel.
Cheers,
Sarah
* Update 2025: This is kind of funny considering how I now identify as Ace.
† Dean Winchester quoting Samwise Gamgee in the show Supernatural.
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Our Wedding Story
Read more: Our Wedding StoryI was in the UK hiking through the Scottish Highlands. He was in the US buying a house in Northwest Arkansas. Even a world apart we managed to find each other.
We may have had a little help from technology. Swapping emails, Skype video calls, and playing lots of Tetris online meant that we knew each other really well before we ever met face-to-face. We were even able to write old fashioned love letters that are now tied in a ribbon and tucked into my hope chest.
It didn’t take long after we met to realize Nathan was the one. Isn’t he adorable?
Growing up I wasn’t one of those girls who planned her wedding from the age of five, but as I was falling for Nathan I started imagining ours. I knew I wanted our wedding to reflect our personalities. Green converse (our favorite color), nerdy details, and a relaxed atmosphere.
Because my friends & family were in Mississippi and Nathan’s were in Oklahoma & Arkansas the logistics started to run away from us. Wherever we placed the wedding half of the guests would have a 12-hour trek and some just wouldn’t be able to make it that far. Wherever the wedding was I knew I wanted everything to be showered in natural light for beautiful photographs, and spent weeks searching for the perfect venue.
We ended up with the best of both worlds. We had a small intimate ceremony with immediate family at Devil’s Den State Park in Winslow, AR. Then in the weeks to follow we had celebrations in each of our stompin’ grounds.
Now I wouldn’t have it any other way. The low key, relaxed atmosphere allowed us to focus on each other and the commitment we were making. My brother-in-law livestreamed the wedding to Papa who couldn’t make it and was watching from his care home. Some of our other friends and family also joined the livestream. With families members gathered under a towering tree we exchanged vows in an intimate ceremony.
As a wedding photographer, I’ve seen too many kids stuffed in itchy outfits and expected to behave like adults. We decided to let the kids do their own thing and it was perfect. (Even in it’s imperfection.)
Following the ceremony a mini reception was set up on the stone wall by the overlook. We had a simple wedding cake topped with white hydrangeas. We’d also used hydrangeas to make my bridal bouquet and for the flower girls to toss. We’d baked Star Wars cookies earlier in the week (and had LEGO candy in leui of wedding mints). Nathan & I cut the cake and toasted Mountain Dew in glass bottles. Afterwards a few hikers stopped by with well wishes. It was all beautifully simple.
With friends and family all over the globe I decided to have a postcard guest book. Those present chose postcards from a selection we had and faraway friends mailed postcards from places like London, Canada, Turkey & the Netherlands. I’m going to bind them together into a book. Our wedding program was also pretty unique. Nathan’s a computer programmer so I asked him to write our wedding in code and we used that for the program (below center). It was pretty awesome.
Did I mention there was a light saber battle between Best Man & Maid of Honor? (I never even knew this happened until we got the photos.)
Our wedding day was just the beginning of a wonderful adventure.
What are your favorite wedding memories?Cheers,
Sarah
{Photos by Stephanie Dawn Photography.}
