I’m entering my 7th year of parenting.
How did that happen?
Within a year of giving birth I started making art to process my experience. That was the beginning of This is My Brain on Motherhood.
Seven years later, I think I’ve fully integrated the identity of parent.*
Which means I’d like to complete this collection, celebrate it somehow, and then move on to making art on other themes (like neurodivergence or perhaps chronic illness.)
One of the pieces I’ve struggled to complete is a soft sculpture brain made with baby clothes. From the first little brain noodle (the white washcloth center of the left hemisphere) I had the vision.†
But sewing through layers of fabric is hard on the hands and pretty quickly I had split my skin and it was too painful to continue. I finally realized the easy injury and slow healing was due to a connective tissue disorder (more on that soon).
I tried every thimble under the sun and none of them were dexterous enough to give me the fine motor control I wanted. I put the project down for months on end and picked it up a bit here and there – always ending up a little worse for wear after working on it.
Eventually I discovered the needle puller from Mx. Domestic (shown above!) and was able to sew the second hemisphere of the brain.
But I still felt stuck. It took a while to realize why. The form was coming together, but I was lost on its purpose. I still had no clarity on what the brain was meant to represent.
It all felt a little too sentimental to be fine art, but too weird to not be.
Sometimes my art begins with a concept I want to represent. Other times I start with the form first and find the meaning during the process.
Least week, I saw an upcoming deadline for a project about chronic illness. And I suddenly realized, with a few changes, this piece has the potential to represent brain fog. A symptom of new motherhood and hEDS (one of my new chronic illness diagnosis’.)
Instead of a complete brain my vision is now for half wool roving to spill out representing brain fog.
Ending with this piece feels very full circle.
It wasn’t my first work about motherhood, but was certainly one of the earliest. This piece held space for me to reflect as I sewed scraps of newborn onesies, toddler tees, and tiny socks.
Having a connection to chronic illness – a theme I’d like to explore next – feels right. Perhaps this will even be a work that belongs in both collections.
This is My Brain on Motherhood was created as part of my Artist’s Residency in Motherhood. ARIM is a free open source framework anyone can participate in created by interdisciplinary artist Lenka Clayton.
I’ve intended to write a blog post about ARIM for oh, six or seven years. At this point I’ll probably give it a few months and write a full retrospective.
This body of work was created with the intention of eventually hosting a solo art show. A pop up where I hung my art in my house and invited a handful of friends over to see it.
Little did I know my art would travel to galleries across the U.S. and even be exhibited in New York City.
I have other visions now, for celebrating the collection virtually, in a form that isn’t geographically limited.
But I’m still working out the details.
Would you be interested in…
- “This is My Brain on Motherhood” art book / monograph
- set of postcards
- art prints
- virtual artist talk
If so hit reply and let me know!
This project would be slotted for autumn or winter (after the summer book launch for How it Feels to Me.)
I’ll be back next week with more neurodiversity chat.
Perhaps literally! I’ve been working on a new podcasting set up.
If there’s a topic you’d like me to cover send me a note and let me know.
Thanks always for your support.
Cheers,
FOOTNOTES
* I knew autistics struggled with transitions, but this was one heck of a transition. I did NOT expect it would take this long to exit “crisis mode” and feel like I’m a person again. Nevertheless, I’m glad that making these pieces and creating Entwined & Ember were portals for me to explore the identities of mother and parent and what they means for me.
† Shoutout to Mindy Sue Meyers for hosting the soft sculpture workshop and for encouraging me – even when I completely ignored her instructions and took things in my own direction.