Over the last year, Substack has been one of my biggest creative outlets. I’ve spent more hours writing, podcasting, and engaging on Substack than anywhere else.
I don’t regret the time I’ve spent there or the connections I’ve made, but it’s time for a pivot.
If you don’t know about Substack yet it’s part blog, part newsletter, part podcast, part YouTube channel, and (most recently) part social media.
Last month they introduced a big change to their business model.
Their app, which was previously a chronological feed of long form blog style content, introduced an algorithm and put their social media style posts up front and center. It becomes increasingly obvious that they are going after the “Twitter market” and / or whatever brings them the most money. It feels like watching Instagram slowly become something other than a photography platform.
I’ve seen this movie and I didn’t like the ending.
My platform is small, but I made about $300 in paid subs last year. The week before Substack introduced an algorithm I had been planning to merge my paid tier with my creative membership program The Companionship. I had spent hours setting up Substack to host my membership program and course portal. And I put it all on pause because it didn’t feel right.
Something I really dislike about Substack’s social media feed is how poorly it handles blocking and muting. There are certain topics that aren’t good for my mental health that I continue to see. Sometimes I even see posts or comments from people I have specifically blocked. With this in mind I did not want to continue using an app that opened a social feed I had very little control over.
I deleted the Substack app.
And I’m loving it.
I’m back to experiencing Substack as a newsletter again.
PRO TIP: I use a special email address just for newsletters I actually want to read. (I actually did this the year before I joined Substack.)
Without the noise of the social feed I’m quite enjoying Substack again. And I’m less overwhelmed so I’m actually reading more posts.
But I am breaking up with Substack as part of my business ecosystem and I’m reframing the paid tier as a tip jar.
Here are the changes I’m making:
No more paywalled content. Instead I’ll send a special thank you card or letter in the mail once a year.
I’m archiving my best Substack posts here on the blog. (Like this one.)
I’m only sending out newsletters once a month instead of weekly.
I’m blogging again. If I want to write something between newsletters I’ll write here and link to it.
My membership program and course portal have moved to Ghost.org. Ghost is a nonprofit that has been around for a decade. I’m not moving my free list because it does not have the discoverability or user base that Substack does. But it is a completely private, algorithm free space that is perfect for a membership and course portal. It costs a flat fee of $9 a month and does not take any percentage of sales. I’m still in the process of setting it all up, but you can see how my Ghost portal looks here.
My free newsletter will remain on Substack so long as engagement remains high and growth feels authentic. (If I see too many spammy follows I’ll move the free list to Ghost as well.)
Right now I’m having slow growth on Substack and seeing new commenters who are engaging with my work. The comment system is strong and facilitates good long term discussions better than any platform I have ever used. So I’m not keen to lose that.
Let’s Discuss.
Are you on Substack? How do you feel about the changes?
Hyper sensitivity is real, but the term HSP dehumanizes autistic people.
…
Ok, deep breath.
…
I needed to pull you in with the title, but that may have flared up your nervous system. Let’s start over.
I’m mindful that I’m addressing sensitive humans.
You might find it hard to change your mind because it means admitting that you’re wrong. I get it.
I’ve felt that way too.
We’re all imperfect humans trying to understand the world around us. Let me be clear that I’m not saying anyone is a bad person.
But I am asking you to stop doing something that is hurting me, and I hope you’ll listen. My heart is beating like crazy while I type this, but HSP is trending and it’s only getting more popular.
I don’t think the sensitive souls using it realize how much pain it is causing autistics like myself.
I’m asking you to open yourself to the possibility that you might be using a term you do not fully understand.
Did you know the term HSP is based on the book “Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron?
I want to be clear that my issue with HSP is rooted in Aron’s writings. (She coined the term.) I have no doubt that you are highly sensitive and that your body processes sensory input in an intense way. I also remember the relief at realizing that truth for myself and reframing my sensitivity as a difference and not a character flaw.
The term “highly sensitive person” sounds universal and harmlesss. But unfortunately HSP carries a lot of baggage and pain for any autistic person familiar with this book.
Here is a direct quote from Aron concerning autistic people,
“Their problem seems to be a difficulty recognizing where to focus attention and what to ignore.
When speaking with someone, they may find the person’s face no more important to look at than the pattern on the floor or the type of lightbulbs in the room.
Naturally they can complain intensely about being overwhelmed by stimulation… but in social situations, especially they more often notice something irrelevant, whereas HSPs would be paying more attention to subtle facial expressions, at least when not overaroused.”
This passage alone expresses a deeply ill informed and outdated conception of autism. This is unsurprising because the book was first published in 1996 … long before the neurodiversity movement.
Aron’s views toward autistics are harmful and blatantly inaccurate.
Many autistics are acutely aware of facial expressions and may even be hyper empathic. *
It is a myth that all autistic people struggle with eye contact. †
When autistic people do struggle with eye contact one of the main causes is sensory overload. ‡
It is dehumanizing to judge what the autistic person is looking at or noticing as irrelevant. (Yes, we do notice small details sometimes! But it doesn’t mean we aren’t listening if we aren’t reacting the way you expect.)
This book was published in 1996. It is outdated and should go out of print.
Before we go any further it’s really important to start with this:
If you’ve met one autistic person you’ve met one autistic person.
If you know someone who is autistic you may think that you understand autism, but we are each incredibly unique.
One person may love loud music the other might cover their ears.
One kid plays elbow deep in mud the other can’t bear to touch it.
One person loves running into the ocean the other can’t shower because they hate feeling water on their face.
No single person has every autistic trait.
This is why we say autism is a spectrum.
Imagine it like a color wheel.
Each color is a different intensity of a certain autistic trait.
If you identify as HSP you may not identify fully with autism at this time.
That is okay.
You could always call yourself “highly sensitive” or “hyper sensitive” or even just “sensitive.”
But it’s not okay to call yourself an HSP when the term perpetuates harmful stereotypes against autism.
I read the HSP book long ago, when I thought I myself might be an HSP and not autistic. So I know the main premise of the book is that your sensitivity is a difference and not a disorder.
I agree!
And guess what?
It’s no longer the 90’s, and there is better language for that.
Neurodiversity
What is neurodiversity?
“‘Neurodiversity’ is a term that suggests the human race is improved by having a diversity of different kinds of brains – like biodiversity in nature, having lots of different brains in a society means we have people with different strengths who can work together.” §
If you experience more sensitivity than the average person you are… neurodivergent.
It’s that simple.
If you identify as highly sensitive you are welcome and invited to identify as neurodivergent.
No diagnosis necessary.
But… you might also be autistic.
Sensory differences are central to the autistic experience.
Many of us believe that our sensory differences are the root cause of all other differences.
Just look at these two brains.
It is clear that the autistic brain (left) is processing much more sensory input than the brain on the right (neurotypical.) Differences in sensory integration may be directly related to language differences, social differences, etc.
There are also so many autistic strengths that are never mentioned! All of that extra information that our brain doesn’t filter out as “unnecessary” makes us excel at pattern recognition and problem solving. Autistic brains notice and make connections that neurotypical don’t even perceive.
But you may not realize this because even the professionals can’t all agree on what adult autism looks like.
Did you know that there isn’t a fixed diagnostic criteria for autism in adults?
They are using a test that was developed for kids and the whole process needs to be reformed. New research is slowly coming in that validates unstereotypical autistic experience.
The field of autism is in flux.
Early autism research was limited to aggressive nonspeaking white boys for a long time and only recently has the field begun to realize the variety of presentations autism can take. **
If you identify as hyper sensitive I’d really encourage you to follow some autistic adults to learn more about the autistic experience and to do some more research on “masked autism”.
Whatever you do I ask that you don’t think of autistic people as “less than” and see more of a kinship in our hypersensitive (or hyposensitive) experiences.
Or subscribe for monthly-ish emails from me. I share my own lived experience and often write about creativity and neurodivergence.
As an autistic mum of an autistic kid this topic is close to my heart.
Right now I’m working on a picture book about sensory processing with autistic artist Gracie Klumpp. If you’d like to support the project you can preoder a copy (or donate one to a school or library) here.
FOOTNOTES
* Why so many women don’t know they’re autistic with Katherine May. Glennon Doyle’s We Can Do Hard Things Episode 220.
Reconnecting to The Wheel of Time has reminded me what creativity felt like before it got all tangled up in career and profession and entrepreneurship.
Everything I did became fodder for “content” on Instagram, YouTube, or (eventually) Substack.
I love documenting the process, but the frame of creative business definitely impacted the types of things I chose to make and spend my time on. This was particularly tangled up in “positioning” myself as a professional artist & author.
Certain parts of my identity got lost along the way. I’m in the process of untangling it all which I wrote about a few months ago: I’m not a brand. I’m a human. 🫀
What I didn’t share then is that rediscovering my humanity was largely tied up in a book series called The Wheel of Time.
14 Blue Wheel of Time Books (image credit: Juniper Books)
During my teenage years I had basically no friends my own age. What I did have was The Wheel of Time. I logged in to a fansite called Wotmania every morning and later on a fan fiction site called Silklatern. The interactions I had with other fans was the one place that I really “fit in”.
Navigating two degrees as an undiagnosed autistic took pretty much all of my social energy. During that time I completely lost touch with fandom and reading for fun. By the time I finished my postgraduate studies I’d pretty much forgotten what it felt like to get lost in a book.
Enter 2020. I had a one year old baby. The world was chaos. And I turned to… The Wheel of Time. I pulled the Eye of the World off my shelf and fell into a world of magic that I knew and loved. The characters were old friends and the story was comforting in its familiarity, but that wasn’t all.
Rereading the books awakened something in me.
A creative spark. It is no coincidence that these are the books I was reading when I starting writing my first book, Discover Your Creative Ecosystem.
The writing of Robert Jordan just has this effect on me. I love other authors and other books, but the Wheel of Time is etched into my bones.
Myself in a multi colored patchwork gleeman’s cloak at WotCon 2023. Thanks to the volunteer photographers at WotCon for this shot.
It’s hard to explain. It’s… ineffable.
But there must be some kind of soul connection to something in this story for me. Why do we love the stories we love?It’s something I’m really curious about. It always feels flat and superficial when I try to explain.
The Wheel of Time has always inspired me to create. I high school I filled notebooks and notebooks with world building. I made sketches of costumes and drafted stories and put myself to sleep imagining characters in worlds of my own.
I gave up writing somewhere along the way, but after self publishing my first book I’ve also started writing fiction again. I’ve been working on a fantasy story that I’d like to tell for the last two NaNoWriMo’s and I’m ready to start working on it year round.
Meanwhile I have felt the ta’veren tug (if you know you know) pulling me deeper and deeper into WoT fandom community.
It’s becoming an important part of my life so you can probably expect to hear more about it here.
It all started in March when I created a muppet style puppet for a song parody contest… an in world version of These are the People in Your Neighborhood. The first project I’ve done purely for creative joy in YEARS. 🤯
Fluffy purple Ogier puppet with large ping pong ball eyes, a wide purple nose, and tufted ears. Ogier are book loving creative souls and I feel a deep kinship with them.
This was in no way for my portfolio, content marketing, or even something for my family. It was a gift for the Wheel of Time community and complete joy to make.
I really loved the challenge of creating in a brand new medium (I’d never made a puppet before) and figuring it out through trial and error. I drew on various creative skills in a way I haven’t done since working on set and props during my undergraduate degree.
Almost immediately after finishing it I jumped into another project. A gleeman’s cloak.
Something I noticed about making something for me was that I didn’t have to fuss over setting up a camera to film or creating perfect process photos.
I wasn’t making this for DIY content. I was making it for me.
Because of this I worked for many hours at the kitchen table (much less photogenic than my studio) simply because I could cut squares or I could sew while Davy role played as Link from Zelda.
Multicolored and textured patches for my cloak. These are 209 out of 350 patches required.
I sat down to write about the cloak itself today, but instead I found myself wanting to share the story behind how it came to be.
The shift that opened up “time” for something like this. News flash: I didn’t actually have more time. I just used my time differently. I spent a similar amount of time last summer making this.
And the value I’m finding in creative joy.
Let’s discuss.
What would you make if you had a dedicated period of time where you couldn’t do anything productive and had to let yourself play?
Last year I took two big marketing classes by brilliant teachers and I’ve decided to ignore some of their biggest advice.
Entering my Human Era.
I’ve decided to stop trying to be a cohesive “brand.”
Is this a bad idea? Possibly.
Would I grow faster if I followed branding advice? Assuredly.
But it is not for me.
Over the years I have taken dozens of marketing classes for my many creative pursuits: marketing for wedding photography, marketing for bloggers, marketing for artists, marketing for – – yes, this was an actual class – – weirdos. (That one was actually pretty cool and I would honestly recommend, but I’m still ignoring one of the main lessons.)
What they all have in common is a bit of homework to describe your business in 3 words (usually in the form of a Venn diagram.)
So I carve parts of my identity away like Cinderella’s sisters trying to fit into the the glass slipper.*
I love a bit of homework. So I go about this bit of self mutilation quite happily choosing fonts and color palettes that best fit one facet of my persona.
I think I’m a decade into online marketing classes at this point. Because I’ve been doing this for a while it has become almost second nature. I don’t even question it.
“Branding” is just… how it’s done.
After all it’s not that different than the autistic masking I’ve done all my life. Like many autistics I often find my place in social circles by adding “value.” So this concept was something I am well accustomed to. The homework assignment felt like a no brainer. Show people the stuff they want to see.
Don’t talk about Dungeons and Dragons in polite company.
I fragmented my identity into the bits that were marketable. Sometimes I might even create two completely separate “brands.” I did this for marketing reasons, but also to appear less “scattered”, “unfocused”, or “flaky”. I see now that I was trying to hide neurodivergent traits that are classically associated with ADHD.
Right after my masters degree I splintered into two people. The creative one and the geeky one.
I started a wedding photography business inspired by vintage books. Meanwhile I was making quirky YouTube videos as one half of Swot Sisters. I’ve never found a way for those parts of myself to really inhabit the same space. Even last year I started two separate Substacks.
An artsy Substack to talk about creativity. And a geeky space themed Substack to talk about neurodivergence (while weaving in lots of Star Trek and Doctor Who references.)
I finally merged them last month.
Over the years I’ve gone through a variety of rebrands. But I never found a “brand” that didn’t pinch like wearing a too small pair of shoes.
Then something extraordinary happened.
Even as I lost people who thought I was a flibbertigibbet.*
I found myself surrounded by YOU. Curious, creative souls who don’t seem to mind (or actually like it?) when I color outside the lines, show the mess, or pilot the spaceship at breakneck speeds.
Buckle your seatbelt because it’s going to be a bumpy ride.
I am done with chopping off pieces of myself to appear more “professional.” I’m ready to put on my Frizzle jumpsuit and get messy!
Moving forward you can expect more complexity, more mess, and more contradictory humanity here.
Last week I attended NWA Book Fest… my first appearance as an author. Indeed my first gathering of any kind since COVID times. I wanted to take some time to share about that experience.
I’m attempting a bit of writing today while Davy “types” on his new keyboard and iPad app.
I was so busy the week before I didn’t have any time to be nervous. I practiced my reading a time or two, installed the Square Up app to take credit card payments, and put my books in a box.
There was a little bit of scheduling confusion and the event was running early so I was rushed right onto stage within minutes of showing up.
(Not ideal for an autistic. I’m not gonna lie.)
I also expected to be introduced and had only prepared for a reading. Somehow I managed to introduce myself and my book without rehearsal. I think its down to how often I have talked about my book online. Maybe it does get easier with practice. I wouldn’t say I’m captivating, but I did it.
Right after my reading I had a group of blogger friends show up to hear me. They just missed me because of the schedule kerfuffle, but we took a photo anyway.
Then I did a short signing and sold 4 books. 🥳
(Shout out to my friend Lori Lynn who served as my “emotional support extrovert” and helped me make small talk at my signing table.)
It was really nice to see people respond to my book in real time. One woman immediately connected my book to The Artist’s Way which completely made my day. So thankful to everyone who dropped by to take a look.
Some lessons I learned and will be adding to my self publishing course:
Print a QR code to purchase the ebook. (My hardcover is a deluxe edition and more people might have purchased the digital bundle at a lower price point.)
Print my Venmo code. (Spelling it out did not seem to work.)
Have something to hold business cards / stickers so they don’t blow away.
Probably bring a book holder as well. The books kept tumbling off the table and one or two may be damaged.
Here is actual footage of me after the event. 😂
(That’s Odo from Star Trek Deep Space Nine.)
It took a lot out of me.
I realized that this simple brief appearance pushed me to the edge of my capacity and I definitely should NOT sign up for longer events any time soon. (After two hours I felt the way I normally do after a whole convention. )
I believe this is due to…
More sensory overload on a daily basis from parenting.
Diminished social capacity due to socializing with my toddler 24/7. (I’m just going to call him toddler till he turns 4, ok?)
Not going to any events for 3-4 years during early motherhood / COVID times. I am both out of practice at masking and have no desire to return to that level of social performance.
Not only am I “re-entering” the world after COVID lockdowns, but I’m also learning how I want to show up as an autistic human. What does it mean to attend events without pressuring myself to mask (performing excitement, facial expressions, small talk, etc.)?
Even so I was pretty wiped out afterwards. Here is how I reset the next day:
Time alone in the studio. I laid on the daybed and watched Netflix for an hour and then made a collage.
Time with Davy in the backyard.
A long walk with a podcast.
Reading in the bath.
Playing Cozy Grove with Davy. (More on that below.)
I’m still pretty tired, but I feel more or less human again. If I hadn’t been able to take that time I would have stayed in a perpetually burned out / shut down kind of state.
I still struggle with taking time for myself as a parent, but when I do I am reminded of how powerful and restorative it can be.
Of shoes & ships & sealing wax
Other bits & bobs to recommend this week.
Play
First off, I have rediscovered Cozy Grove. I played this a couple of years ago on my phone, but we just purchased it for the Nintendo Switch and I have been playing with Davy.
It’s a really cute and relaxing game.
You’re a scout marooned on an island haunted by (cute) bear ghosts. You run around the island finding things for them and helping them restore their memories. You can also fish and bake and craft and garden. The music and artistic style sets such an atmosphere. Have a peek.
I’ve heard it’s kind of like Animal Crossing, but in my opinion is cuter and more fun. (I tried Animal Crossing after finishing this game the first time and didn’t connect with it.) If you’re a casual gamer and just looking for a way to relax would really recommend Cozy Grove. 🥰
This post by @worry__lines on Instagram is really good food for thought.
TOO Many Tabs
I’ve invented this section as inspiration to browse and close the tabs I keep open on Safari. I am always dangerously close to the 500 tab limit. Hopefully these creative breadcrumbs offer some inspiration.
Illustration
I absolutely love this 1970’s edition of The Sword in the Stone illustrated by Alan Lee. Merlin’s cottage has always been evocative for me and this is just how I’ve imagined it.
I made this discovery while looking for images of my teacher muses for home educating. A few weeks later I bought a copy from ABE Books so I really don’t need this tab open anymore.
Word Nerd
Etaoin shrdlu was used as a “red flag by typesetters to show an error in text, but sometimes it was overlooked and made it into print.” It is the approximate order of frequency of the 12 most commonly used letters in the English language.” via The Dusty Wheel
—
Wait, this is real?
This tab was open because I saw this butterfly on Instagram and didn’t believe it was real. Fact check!
I’ll be attending my very first book festival as a self published author this Saturday! I’ll be doing a reading and signing at NWA Book Fest and would love to see you there! It feels surreal and I’m not sure I quite believe it’s real yet.
Find all the festival information here. (Catch me on the main stage at 2:30pm).
A peek into my creative process and current works in progress.
This week I’ve had more “reaching” energy than “rooting.”
You can download either of these printables (Reach & Root or 100 Submissions) here.
I recorded a podcast episode with Kiki from Heiter Magazine. (Coming your way in April.) Podcast interviews take a lot of energy so I am experimenting with quarterly guests this year. In the past I’ve tried weekly or monthly and that has been too much. This is part of my seasonal planning approach and slowing down to find my own pace.
I’m also undertaking a just-for-fun puppet alteration project for a Wheel of Time parody contest. I haven’t done any crafting or fan art in a really long time so this has been fun.
Also Davy is fascinated.
Maybe I’ll share a peek at that next week.
Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend…
Watch
“I used to think that art had to begreat to be worthwhile. Now, I only think it has to be to be worthwhile.” John Green. Maybe Art Only Needs to Be. Feb 21, 2023.
Me too, John, me too.
Listen
The On Being podcast is BACK and I am loving it! These two episodes were amazing.
“The real practice of the artist is a way of being in the world.”
“It’s hard for me to finish projects because I always see the possibilities of what else we could try and I want to try everything…”
“What I came to realize is that there is a time for this open play. And it’s in those first two parts of the process, the seed phase… and experimenting.”
“By working with sensitive artists, we resonate together in that we’re feeling things that not everybody else is feeling.”
“There is no connection between the amount of time invested and how good something is.”
“The sustainable part of the practice is: start with things that are easy to do.”
I’m playing with the structure a bit here. Trying out categories rather than themed emails. I’m also bringing back some old themes long time supporters may recognize.
This week I’m sharing a sneak peek at a 360 VR piece I made in December. It’s taken a while to work out how to share this online.
UNRAVEL
2023 / VR 360
An immersive experience demonstrating my internal experience of motherhood.
As an autistic parent my brain does not prune synaptic pathways. This means to process information I often have to unravel a tangle of connected thoughts among sensory input, memories, and connections most people would overlook.
There are two ways to experience this work.
If you have the YouTube app you can experience this work in VR here. Just moving your phone to look around. Please select HD by tapping the cog or it will load super blurry. 🫣
Don’t have the YouTube app? Here’s a simulation of how it looks in 3D.
This piece was inspired by a piece of writing by Hayley Dunlop which reminded me of doing this as a child. It was purely creative play at the time. I later revisited this process in directing class when I was asked to “completely transform the space.”
Hayley’s writing connected this memory to neurodivergent thought patterns which immediately made me want to create this with Davy.
Working alongside him added all sorts of layers – both layers of meaning – and literal pools of knots (which were never part of my previous efforts.) 😂
Other bits and bobs I’d like to recommend this week.
Katherine May’s podcast How We Live Now with Priya Parker – This is a chat about gathering well and drawing the lines we need around different social events and communities. I couldn’t have listened to this as a better time as I had been struggling with the Code of Conduct for my membership program and this gave me all the confidence to go with my gut. I’ve also ordered Priya’s book (affiliate link) which happens to have a gorgeous watercolor cover.
We’ve subscribed to the newspaper for the first time ever and I loved this article about artist Thaddeus Mosley.
Waiting for a quiet moment to enjoy this studio tour…
I also admired these shadows.
Minor updates March 2025 to correct links and images.
