From the Compost Heap header. A pencil style illustration of a compost heap with flowers and plants growing around it. A bee buzzes by and a white rabbit hops by.

  • How it Feels to Be Time Blind ⏳

    Growing up I had no idea I was time blind.

    But I was already establishing coping mechanisms. Because I had no internal chronometer to distinguish between 5 minutes and 50 I would prepare for every outing far far in advance and find myself in a state of limbo unable to do anything but wait.

    This is effective, but is also a black hole for both energy and time.

    Doctor Who says "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff."

    People with time blindness tend to be chronically early or chronically late.

    It’s funny that the same internal experience can result in two such seemingly different behaviors, but it makes sense. One approach to time is a rigid controlled white knuckling. A hyperfocus that saps both time and energy from your life. The other holds on with a looser grip and time slips away.

    You might construe the first stereotype as autism and the second as ADHD, but time blindness is an internal experience shared by both.

    White Rabbit from Disney's Alice in Wonderland hopping frantically with an oversized pocket watch

    Now that I’m a mother I simply don’t have bandwidth to white knuckle my way through the day hyperfocusing on time.

    I cannot wait in the car for an hour. I do not have an hour to spare.

    Not to mention the chaotic element of a small human who has all sorts of urgent needs that can’t always be anticipated.

    How do normal people know when to leave the house to arrive somewhere on time?

    I never realized I was working SO HARD at something most people find simple.

    I was obsessed with planners a few years ago. I never would have described myself as disorganized, but this was down to the fact that I relied on a series of complicated systems to keep track of the most basic things.

    Lorelai Gilmore sits at kitchen table with laptop and says "Tomorrow at 10:00 Roz darling?"

    Like what day of the week it is. (I’m not kidding.)

    When Davy was in his human goat phase I gave planners up. As a result I’ve been flying blind for 3.5 years now. During this time I have learned a few things:

    First, go gentle on people who show up late and forget things. They are doing their best.

    Second, I really thrive with structure and systems.

    It’s impossible to overstate how much having a plan helps me.

    Structure frees up my brain for other things in a way that I can only compare to breathing oxygen versus being waterboarded.

    I’ve been metaphorically drowning for actual years now.

    Alice in a bottle floating in a sea of her own tears

    At first I thought the lesson I was meant to be learning was how to “let go” and embrace fluidity.

    There is nothing less helpful you could suggest to a human whose brain needs structure.

    The last few months I have been experimenting with themed days. With one focus per day my nervous system has improved dramatically. It also seems to help Davy. (We are both the type of neurodivergent who likes to know what’s coming.)

    But we all need different things.

    If your brain needs freedom embrace that. Don’t let people shame you and push you into a rigid structure if that doesn’t work for you.

    When we’re forced to work in ways that run counter to our neurotype it’s important to recognize this is legitimately difficult for us.

    Life seems determined to deal out changed plans, external deadlines, and an ungodly amount of urgent paperwork.

    When this happens we should treat ourself like we’re doing something really hard (because we are.)

    Without a plan my brain feels like it is on high alert all the time just trying to get through the day. Imagine a tennis player bouncing with bent legs ready to sprint in any direction*. That’s how I feel without a plan. It’s exhausting. And I am far more likely to become overstimulated.

    Professional tennis players

    *I know nothing about sports. But we were told to stand this way in Improv class and I quit immediately. 😂

    When our nervous system is on high alert we can help ourselves by:

    • providing sensory support (comfortable clothes, fidgets, movement, regulating environments)
    • seeking comfort (a cozy blanket, a favorite book or tv show, a cup of tea)
    • asking for help
    • finding someone to work alongside us (sometimes this is called “body doubling”)
    • rewarding our own efforts (treat yo’self)

    I could say more, but I’ve run out of time. 😂😂😂

    Read more: How it Feels to Be Time Blind ⏳

  • Celebrating an Autism Diagnosis

    I’m an autistic adult and parent of an autistic child. I really recommend framing a diagnosis as a positive milestone and celebrating it as such.

    We celebrate the anniversary of our diagnosis’ each year and call this our “Neurotype Day.” *

    * Shout out to my friend Hayley Dunlop for coining this.

    Read more: Celebrating an Autism Diagnosis

  • What is a creative ecosystem?

    What is a creative ecosystem?

    When I talk about creative ecosystems what I mean is expanding your concept of creativity beyond the act of making. Every part of your lived experience makes up your creative ecosystem.

    I developed this metaphor to help me build a healthier creative practice. Each element of a natural ecosystem (sun, water, air, etc.) is matched with a creative counterpart (body, mind, environment, and so on.)

    Hand holding compass with mountain in the distance

    Once I began seeing creativity in this way I couldn’t unsee it.

    I also noticed a holistic view of creativity was quite counter cultural.

    It’s an alternative approach to these two common creative traps.

    1. One Size Fits All Advice

    Too many creative leaders are trying to pass on their specific creative process as if it will work for anyone.

    Even my beloved Julia Cameron is guilty of this. The seeds of this idea were sown when I reread The Artist’s Way as a new mum. I knew creativity was an important part of my life and wanted guidance in how to maintain my creative life through new motherhood.

    But suddenly, Julia’s advice no longer served me. I was exhausted. I didn’t have the capacity for daily journaling. And it wasn’t what I needed.

    What I needed was a nap.

    Reaching the end of my rope taught me that caring for my body and my mind is an essential part of the creative process.

    I still don’t write or make something every day, and that’s okay. I’ve found a new rhythm that’s working for me. It’s fluid and adaptive and continues to develop over time.

    Landscape photo of a canyon

    2. Hustle, Hustle, Burnout

    For years I’ve been working under the hustle, hustle, burnout template. I would push myself past the edge of my capacity and then crash and burn.

    I see a lot of my fellow artists doing the same thing.

    There is a growing awareness that we need rest, but it’s often treated like one more thing to squeeze into your to-do list.

    What we really need is to rebalance our entire creative process.

    Here’s where your creative ecosystem comes in.

    Consider the Big Picture

    When you stop hyperfocusing on productivity and take a step back you can see that every bit of your life is interconnected. It all serves your creative process.

    Instead of following a template created by someone else start paying attention to your own needs. Then, make little shifts that honor your own capacity.

    Discover your unique balance of structure and freedom, input and output, solitude and community, and more. Dig into your purpose and why you’re creating. Create rituals for rest and reflection.

    When I saw there was more to art than simply making my own creative ecosystem began to thrive.

    Small flock of birds fly through a golden sunset reflected on ocean below.

    I can’t make a fun quiz to determine if your ecosystem is a forest or a canyon.

    Only you can decide that.

    But I have spent two years writing a book to help you start the journey.

    Breaking down your creative ecosystem and exploring it one step at a time.

    Mockup of Discover Your Creative Ecosystem book by Sarah Shotts. A silhouette of bird in flight shows a landscape beyond.

    Discover Your Creative Ecosystem is a short read full of inspiring images and prompts to reflect on your personal creative practice. It’s available in hardcover, ebook, and audiobook. There’s also a fully illustrated companion for journaling or multimedia collage.

    Read more: What is a creative ecosystem?

  • Free Sensory Processing Workshop

    Read more: Free Sensory Processing Workshop

  • Studio Tour

    It’s finally here!

    Click below to watch a tour of my new studio.

    Read more: Studio Tour

  • My Year of Making (January Recap)

    When I started my year of making I had intentions for writing weekly updates for my blog or newsletter. Then the month unraveled, our whole family got sick, and I shifted into survival mode.

    So I’m giving myself some Brownie points for being flexible (not easy for an Autie) and picking up the pieces to write monthly check ins instead.

    The month started by easing in with baking and journaling and photos for Davy’s first (half) day of Montessori school.

    Digital collage of First Day of Preschool toddler in yellow raincoat

    Then I tried to calibrate my new Cricut. (It was a hate-hate relationship… in the end I returned it and used the money to buy electroforming supplies instead.)

    And the second week we came down sick. First Davy, then the whole family. It was his first time having a fever for anything besides teething. The first few days I kept track of making soup and tea and macaroni out of a box. Then my own fever went up and it was all I could do to just keep us going.

    It’s a tribute to what I’ve learned through motherhood that I was able to let that go and look back with empathy instead of self judgement. It was hard.

    A couple days out from February we started coming alive again and I resumed my making quest. The final day of January was my first proper day making art in my new studio. I returned to an art project I started in February 2, 2020 and had been on the shelf ever since.

    Digital collage of photographs printed on fabric and ironing set up

    My takeaways from this month?

    Sometimes you honor your inner artist by resting and healing. Sometimes making what you need for survival is enough. Other times you have the energy to pick up a long lost project and you stitch two timelines together through the metaphysical magic of time travel.

    UPDATE: September 2021

    I hid this blog post when I stopped writing monthly updates. At the time I was discouraged because we were sick every month from January – May and my year looked nothing like I had imagined. Looking back I can see how I did keep making (in small and simple ways), but I didn’t have the time or energy to document. Then in June (the first month none of us fell sick) my creative world expanded. If you’re finding it hard to create at the moment I see you. Don’t give up. Take the small moments you can. They count even if no one else is seeing them.

    Read more: My Year of Making (January Recap)

  • My Word for 2021

    Gold scissors and baby clothes on a blue blanket

    I didn’t choose a word last year. Or the year before that. I’ve been in a metaphorical hibernation since Davy was born. Snug and still even before 2020 locked us all down.

    These 18 months have been a time of dreaming and ideation. I have had more creative ideas during postpartum than any other time in my life.

    Yet, action came in waves.

    Small lapping pond waters.

    Occasional crashing whitecaps.

    Doodles and book drafts.

    It was inconsistent, but it kept me afloat. The ideas I didn’t have time or energy to complete I gathered up and squirreled away for another time.

    I’ve chosen the word MAKE for 2021 because I want to establish a daily creative practice. To put those ideas I’ve collected to use. 

    I want to make more art, but gently. I need flexibility to tend a sick babe or adjust my pace to avoid burnout. Some days I might paint or weave and others I might make beans on toast. Both are equally valid.

    It’s an invitation to create everyday and a curiosity to see how that unfolds.

    If you’d like to follow along I’ll be writing about my year of making in my newsletter. I’ll drop an opt in box here to make it easy.

    P.S. After drafting this post I did a search for “year of making” and rediscovered Kim Werker who I followed what feels like a lifetime ago. I must have been riding some subconscious inspiration. Kim’s year of making was in turn inspired by Miriam Felton so it’s one big beautiful swirl of inspiration. 🌀 

    If you want to join in just use their hashtag #yearofmaking.

    Read more: My Word for 2021

  • Embracing My Inner Renaissance Soul

    I’ve always been envious of Emily Starr’s singular focus on her Alpine Path. Her one true passion was writing, and she always knew what she wanted to achieve. My creative endeavors are more… varied.

    I’ll gather up a handful to paint a picture for you.

    I’ve drafted novels, thrown pots, directed plays, painted landscapes, photographed weddings, cross stitched samplers, planted gardens, made mosaics, designed websites, produced short films, dipped candles, made flower crowns, designed logos, stage managed, blogged, vlogged, danced en pointe, painted posters, designed gravestones, baked cakes, bound books, sewn pockets, developed my own photographs, scrapbooked, acted, silk screened, written for a magazine, learned Irish step dancing, embroidered hoops, written plays & performed puppetry…

    The list goes on.

    I still want to learn to play the ukulele, crochet & needlefelt.

    University was a beautiful time of reckless curiosity for me. I studied anything that sparked my interest, even taking classes that didn’t count toward my degrees.

    But when I started a photography business I told myself that any other creative projects were a waste of time.

    I continually make the mistake of trying to “specialize.”

    Telling myself that I have to choose one art form and practice it exclusively. Even so, my focus shifted from photography to cinematography to blogging to vlogging to sticker making…

    I clearly lack the ability to stick to one specific thing.

    Each time I told myself that my new passion would be “it.”

    Portrait of myself wearing an autumnal crown with long flowing brown hair and pale skin, with autumnal reflections in the lake beyond

    Then, about a year ago,  I made the tough decision to close down my photography business. It was incredibly freeing. I made discoveries about my creative process, improved my mental health, and realized I had developed a chronic illness that was draining a lot of my energy. I was able to slow down and take care of me.

    I’ve had a bit of a rebirth this year. I’m feeling more myself than I have since my years in college.

    I chose “create” as my word for 2017, which quickly transformed into “dabble”. Instead of creating and marketing products I began to kindle my curiosity.

    After a year of creating just to create I’ve realized that I’m never going to find a single art form that defines my identity as an artist.

    So I’ve stopped searching for it.

    I’m embracing my identity as a Renaissance Soul and am chasing curiosity with wild abandon.

    Portrait of myself wearing an autumnal crown with long flowing brown hair, pale skin, and brown glasses
    Read more: Embracing My Inner Renaissance Soul

  • Embracing my Inner Samwise

    Flat lay photograph of Bag End watercolor painting by paint palettes

    Sometimes we so admire the beauty we see in others that we don’t see what’s beautiful about ourselves.

    I’m not talking about physical attributes here, although that happens too… I mean our innate strengths and personality traits. As a fairly analytical person in a creative field this is something I constantly struggle with… like a hobbit wishing to be an elf.

    This week I was planning to blog about reframing adventure, but after listening to the She Percolates podcast about self doubt I decided to write this post first.

    Earlier last year, I had an especially strong wave of this type of self doubt, when I took Sally Hogshead’s Fascinate test. I’d seen her on Marie Forleo and loved the idea that we all have our own secret sauce that fascinates others.

    That is… until I got THE MOST BORING RESULTS EVER.

    I was The Ace.*

    Tireless, Decisive and Goal Oriented.

    Perfect traits for my previous role as a Stage Manager in professional theatre, but decidedly less wondersome for pursing my own creativity as a storyteller, photographer & filmmaker. It made me question the move from organizing other creatives to creating work of my own.

    It happened all over again doing homework for April Bowles-Olin’s blogging class. Asking my friends about my strengths I was similarly disenchanted with the results…

    • Organization
    • Self Motivation
    • Dependability
    • Focus
    • Attention to Detail
    • Patience
    • Loyalty
    • Creativity
    • Kindness

    (One person threw Creativity in there, but it almost felt like I was being tossed a bone.)

    Fast forward several months… I’d continued shoving these feelings of inadequacy down determined to pursue my creative path in spite of them and found myself flying cross country to Creative Live. (Turns out one of my other traits as The Ace is “a relentless pursuit of what you believe in.”) 

    Serendipitously I ended up with Kris with a K as my roomie.

    One evening I confided to Kris that I was disappointed with my interview results. After all, who wants to read an adventure blog by someone who is dependable?

    And then (cause Kris with a K is magic like that) she reframed what I was secretly ashamed of into something I could see value and potential in.

    She said I was Samwise Gamgee.

    Kris spoke directly into to my little geeky heart.

    Now, to be honest, I prefer Gandalf with his mystique and gnarled magical staff.

    I always choose to play a wizard in fantasy games. (Yep, I play Dungeons & Dragons… you got a problem with that?)

    I see now that I wanted to be the wizard in real life too… someone mysterious and alluring. But I’m much more straightforward than than. More hobbit-like.

    "If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold it would be a merrier world." Thorin quote from The Lord of the Rings over a photograph of a tree with the sun behind

    So while I wouldn’t have chosen to be Samwise, neither can I dismiss him. I can see his worth.  Without Sam, Frodo never would have made it to Mordor. 

    Even Dean Winchester gives him a pass. †

    I’d be lying if I said I’d immediately fallen in love with all of my dependable qualities, but I’m making a real effort to embrace my inner Samwise. So you might notice a few more hobbit holes around these parts.

    Because I know there’s a strength to being dedicated and organized and hard working. And I never wanted to be the adventurer jumping out of airplanes and visiting every country in the world. I want to help you see the beauty in the ordinary and the adventure in the everyday.

    That is very Samwise of me. He was a gardener after all.

    When I went back and looked at my homework assignment with fresh eyes I saw that my friend had actually said I was wonderfully creative. And another described me as quietly adventurous during our time in Greece. 

    It’s all in how we frame it, and the compliments we allow ourselves to see and accept.

    This week I dug back into my Tolkien books and films to “research”. And I fell in love with this quote (from this scene) in the Fellowship of the Ring film.

    Lord of the Rings quote from Bilbo Baggins, "It is no bad thing to celebrate a simple life." over a woodland photograph.

    I love that sentiment.

    Because you don’t need to go mountain climbing to have adventure in your life. There’s so much to celebrate in the simple beauty of the everyday and viewing each new morning as the start of a fresh adventure.

    If you’re feeling self doubt about your own strengths I encourage you to seek out a friend who can help you see them as they do. 

    Let’s muddle through this together and jump in even if we’re feeling doubtful. 

    Because we don’t give up.

    What are your struggles with self doubt? Let’s open up a real dialogue. If anyone comes along and tries to judge you I’ll drub them across the head with my garden shovel.

     

    Cheers,

    Sarah

    * Update 2025: This is kind of funny considering how I now identify as Ace.

    † Dean Winchester quoting Samwise Gamgee in the show Supernatural.

    Dean from Supernatural quotes Samwise while driving the Impala in the rain: Listen, I may not be able to carry the burden that comes with these trials, but I can carry you." Sam says, "You realize you just kinda quoted Lord of the Rings, right?" Dean: "C'mon man, but it's the Rudy hobbit. Rudy hobbit always gets a pass!" Sam laughs. Dean: "Shut up!"
    Read more: Embracing my Inner Samwise

  • Support Tools for Autism, ADHD & Sensory Processing

    I’ve put together some of our favorite support tools for autism & neurodivergence: fidgets, timers, art supplies (art is so beneficial for self regulation), and books.

    Self Regulation Tools

    The remaining links point toward Amazon for now because it is the most accessible source for most people. Please consider that many autistic and neurodivergent people rely on Amazon for products they need.*

    We need to support our own nervous systems so we can make the changes we want to see in the world.

    If you prefer to shop elsewhere you are invited to do so. Simply use these product pages as jumping off points to find similar items in indie shops. If you purchase through these links I receive a very tiny referral fee.

    FIDGETS & FOCUS TOOLS
    calming regulation tools
    more

    Harkla Sensory Diet Workbook

    If you’re new to the idea of sensory regulation this is a great resource. It is geared toward kids, but much of it is also applicable to adults. Our needs don’t disappear – we just get older. (Affiliate Link)

    Watercolor cards with sensory supports and spread out on a table with art supplies

    Further Reading

    Check out my picture book How it Feels to Me.

    Illustration of individual wearing a checkered jacket standing in a sea breeze with eyes closed. Around their head is a blue halo with photographs of blue objects including seaweed, shells, and a ticket stub.

    Or browse below to shop more of my favorite books about autism, sensory processing, and neurodivergence.

    SHOP BOOKS

    FOOTNOTES

    * Reasons why autistic people rely on Amazon may include: overstimulation when shopping, chronic illness, under-employment, or rural locations where products are simply not available.

    Read more: Support Tools for Autism, ADHD & Sensory Processing