From the Compost Heap header. A pencil style illustration of a compost heap with flowers and plants growing around it. A bee buzzes by and a white rabbit hops by.

  • Things Bringing Me Joy ✨

    Part of my advocacy work right now is being autistic in public.

    But to continue doing that I have to take care of myself.

    Here are some of the things that brought me joy this week.

    Making Mini Zines ✂️

    Different types of making meet different needs.

    Writing is analytical and helps me unravel my ideas. But it’s not the most regulating.

    So instead of writing this week I’ve been making mini zines.

    This one is using images from the mood board for my fantasy novel. A process that I paused for several months and am now orbiting back to. I’m really curious about how I can make my storytelling more interdisciplinary and how I can invert my writing from something I am doing for others to something I am doing for myself.

    I’ll probably write more about this later, but here’s a timelapse of me making a zine.

    Tap to watch me make a zine at midnight when everyone else in my house is sleeping.

    Down the Rabbit Hole 🐇

    I fell into a story over the weekend the way Alice fell into Wonderland. Once I started I just had to keep reading until I reached the end.

    Non-Player Character by Veo Corva. A glowing night-time forest with poly dice constellations in the sky. A glowing person nervously reaches out to a floating seal creature.

    Non Player Character by autistic author Veo Corva (they/them) made me feel seen in a way I don’t think I ever have in a story before.

    This book follows a diverse group of nerds becoming found family. If you’ve ever felt alone or “too much” or “not enough” I think you should read this.

    + 10 if you’re autistic, anxious, or otherwise neurodivergent.

    + 10 if you’re queer, gender queer or disabled.

    +10 if you’ve ever been a fantasy gamer (tabletop or video game).

    I can’t say much more without giving away plot points, but this is a beautifully written crowdfunded book.

    Support the author if you can (and let me know if you read this!)

    Escaping the Algorithm 🌀

    I’m experimenting with an algorithm free way to share snippets of photos, videos, and links. I borrowed the idea from Katherine May to start a What’s App channel.

    So far I’ve posted…

    A peek at some test prints. (The final versions of these will be going out to my quarterly print subscribers this month.)

    Tiny off centered test prints of letterpress style Your name sings in my ears quotes with leaf motif.

    And I shared that I was enjoying Different, Not Less by autistic author Chloé Hayden. Which I’ve now finished. This book deserves a full review, but in short it was an informative and affirming view of autism & ADHD. 10/10 would recommend.

    Different not Less by Chloe Hayden. Teal book with rainbows and butterflies held in a pale hand. House plants peek out behind.

    If you’d like little snippets like this you can follow through What’s App.

    It’s the kind of thing I’d post to social media, but completely algorithm & ad free.

    There are no comments. And I can’t even see who’s following me.

    Just a simple portal for small shares.

    Join me.

    Trading Zines 📮

    I’ve been doing my zine thing for about a year now without really finding the zine community. Recently I stumbled into a zine Discord (let me know if you want an invite) and suddenly found myself trading zines with other zinesters.

    If you’ve wandered around my homepage you may have noticed I have a section for alchemy (trade & barter) that isn’t set it up yet. (Boo chronic migraines!) But it’s pretty simple.

    If you’d like to trade (zine for zine, book for book, or some other creative swap) just let me know!

    Zine collection spread on table. Visible titles include: Offline, Taking Care of Yourself as an Artist Publisher, Practicing Microresistance in Conversations, Tea, Reality Has, Motherlore, etc. Zines are various sizes and colors. Many have black sharpie on white paper appearance. Others are typed. The most visible are a bright neon risograph texture of seaweed (on the artist publisher book) and a composition book style (the microaggressions book.) Links to each zine are listed below.
    My zine collection (newest zine babies not photographed yet.)

    I’m sure I’m forgetting something.

    I’ll probably end up posting it to my What’s App tomorrow.

    Three proofs of How it Feels to Me with a hand drawn figure surrounded by a halo of colorful objects. My typewriter, a succulent, and a stack of Spectrum zines are also visible.

    If you missed it, last week I shared some of the ways the autistic community needs your help right now and a short list of choose your adventure action items.

    Click here to read it.

    Thanks to everyone who reached out. I haven’t had the capacity to respond yet, but I appreciated each message and especially the two picture book preorders. 🥰

    There seem to be a lot of cruel people in the world right now.

    Thanks for being one of the helpers.

    Sarah signed with a swoopy S
    Read more: Things Bringing Me Joy ✨

  • Don’t skip this one. 🌻

    I have an important update today.

    But first, a peek inside my mental drafts folder…

    • 10 Years Post Autism Diagnosis
    • Finding Your Why (probably a zine)
    • Dynamic Disability (& new chronic illness diagnosis)
    • Embracing Supports (maybe a zine)
    • Discovering my Fiction Writing Process

    But I’m skipping over all of that for a time sensitive PSA.

    Tylenol does not cause autism.

    Big mistake.

    I logged back into Instagram after 8 months away.

    I couldn’t have chosen a worse time to do so.*

    Instagram (at least the current iteration) is dangerous to my mental health. What used to be a light hearted photo sharing app has now turned into another algorithmic dumpster fire.

    I tried everything.

    I blocked accounts, “curated” my feed, and did my best to train the algorithm. Near the end I even downloaded a social media blocking app to limit my usage to midday.

    I was already struggling.

    Then the autism news hit.

    Nope. I can’t be here. I’m out.

    I naively imagined that the next generation of autistics could grow up with less stigma. To know who they are and unabashedly ask for support.

    To see that progress purposefully eroded is gutting.

    My nervous system simply cannot handle the horrors and catastrophizing on endless algorithmic remix.

    And it’s not just autistics under attack. Every marginalized group is in real crisis right now. Science and education have been defunded.

    There is a new fresh horror every day.

    An embroidery frame holds a cross stitch that reads "I'm Fine". A second image shows the reverse which is a tangled mess of navy blue thread.
    Read I’m Fine – a digitized zine about self regulation & advocacy

    It’s easy to feel helpless when the world is on fire.

    That is what they want.

    But I’m not having it.

    Let’s self regulate and take one positive action.

    Together.

    My Action Steps

    Here’s what I can do.

    • Be autistic in public.
    • Model nervous system support for my fellow neurodivergent folks (and sensitive souls who may not even realize they are neurodivergent.)
    • Continue creating resources that educate about the autistic experience.
    My zine making area with Spectrum and Chaos Gardening zines, paper cutter, and watercolor wash circles.

    Your Action Steps

    If you want to be an ally here are ways to help.

    Choose 1 or 2.

    • Speak up when you hear misinformation and harmful rhetoric.
    • Share my Spectrum blog post or zine.
    • Contact your representatives. Tell them autism is not a disease to be cured.
    • Preorder How it Feels to Me (a picture book about sensory processing.) This is a crowdfunded project I am creating with autistic illustrator Gracie Klumpp.
    Three proofs of How it Feels to Me with a hand drawn figure surrounded by a halo of colorful objects. My typewriter, a succulent, and a stack of Spectrum zines are also visible.

    We just got a new set of proofs and are feeling very excited about next steps. After changing book binders we are a bit over budget – so if you preorder now it will be a big help.

    If you don’t need a book yourself you can also choose to donate your copy and we’ll be sure it gets to someone who needs it.

    PREORDER

    I’m feeling particularly vulnerable this week.

    If this email resonated I’d appreciate hearing from you.

    Take Care,

    Sarah signed with a swoopy S
    FOOTNOTES

    * Why did I do this? Because I met some cool people at the NWA Maker’s Faire and thought maybe I should try and better follow local creative events.

    Read more: Don’t skip this one. 🌻

  • Shapeshifting into a zine 💫

    From the Compost Heap header. A pencil style illustration of a compost heap with flowers and plants growing around it. A bee buzzes by and a white rabbit hops by.

    The Medium is the Message

    A few years ago I started making artwork with a gallery setting in mind (rather than Instagram.) That completely changed the kinds of things I was making.

    White child sized t shirt on a silver clothes hanger covered in clothing tags of various brands and sizes.

    I started the series My Brain on Motherhood and have been in over 10 fine art exhibitions.

    That never would have happened if I kept making art “for” the Internet.

    The medium is the message.

    The platform that we create work for informs the work.

    Earlier this year, I stopped writing paywalled posts for paying supporters and started sending letters in the mail.

    Processed with VSCO with 1pro preset

    Changing the medium of the message has made that work feel more personal and also more like human connection and less like work.

    So I’ve been wondering how to bring that energy to what I’m making here.

    I’m contemplating the ways in which I might go analogue with my newsletter in the new year.

    To test it out I’ve typed up I am not a brand. I’m a human. as a zine.

    2024-10-25-Zine.jpeg

    This will be going out to my paid supporters this month as an experiment. (You can also order one from my shop.)

    I might alternate letters and zines depending on what I have to say.

    What’s interesting to me is how much this is about intention.

    Once I made the work with an art gallery in mind – I can then share it on Instagram. (My “I’m Fine” cross stitch actually went low key viral.)

    But the frame in which I formulate ideas changes what I make.

    Teal green typewriter with an open carriage for cleaning sits on a wooden desk. Library style drawers and wart supplies are behind.

    So when I say I’m going “analogue” I’m thinking of creating physical zines on my typewriter. That’s the medium. I’ll send paper copies to paying supporters.

    Once I’ve made that I can then archive digital versions of that zine on my website or Internet Archive (like this). I’ll send fewer emails (monthly or quarterly) that point directly to my website and / or compost heap. So the email newsletter becomes a channel to share my work and not the medium of the work itself.

    (How does that sound Seth Werkheiser?)

    I’m less and less comfortable having the work that I make live on someone else’s platform and this is an experiment I am excited to try.

    I’ve been circling around this idea for months now and I finally discovered Mail Blog via Independent Creative and it inspired me to give analogue a go.

    If you’re considering how creating for the Internet in general is informing your work I’d really recommend the book The Medium is the Message by Marshall McLuhan.

    In the Studio ✂️

    Meanwhile here are a few updates from my creative ecosystem.

    First up, Entwined has gone to the editor!

    Selfie holding a copy of Entwined in my studio with my kid playing video games on the daybed behind me. I have on a Rose Apothecary shirt, green corduroy overshirt, and green glasses. I have short brownish hair and blue eyes.

    I’m also taking a course on sensory regulation with my partner. David and I are painting these sensory regulation cards and I’m very excited about them. (I don’t have it handy, but let me know if you’d like an affiliate link.)

    Watercolor cards with sensory supports and spread out on a table with art supplies

    A lot of creative energy is also going into creating spaces for learning.

    And I’m also using our new laser printer to design our own handwriting sheets. (We’re saving the paper for a recycled paper bookmark project I’ve been ideating for about 5 years.)

    I also made this Wheel of Time inspired snowflake for WoTtober

    In the Garden 🌱

    Our garden is completely feral.

    But these volunteer tomatoes are VERY happy.

    Books 📖

    Inspired by Hayley Dunlop I thought I might share more of the picture books we’re reading. This one has been a big hit. (No loose teeth yet, but we’re preparing to understand when it does happen.)

    Bear’s Loose Tooth

    Digital Foraging 🍁

    Enchantment means “to be inside a song.” via Writing Excuses

    Time Travel banner. Hand drawn illustrtation of TARDIS in space surrounded by swirling lines and stars.

    You can see another example of The Medium is the Message by these flashbacks to the time I was a “YouTuber.” I’m exhausted just thinking about trying to mask as much as I did in 2016.

    Seven years past.

    How to Make Leaf Rubbings on YouTube

    Eight years past.

    October Favorites 2016 on YouTube

    via Double Double Toil and Trouble an October roundup post on Substack from 2022.

    Ways to support header includes an illustrated white rabbit hopping into some wildflowers.

    The Compost Heap is free to all. Thanks for exchanging your time and energy. If you’re feeling particularly generous here are other ways you can lend your support.

    • Leave a comment (it’s free!)
    • Share on Substack.
    • Buy my book.
    • Forward this email to a friend.
    • Pledge for monthly snail mail from me.
    Drawing of a tin can telephone and the words Let's chat

    The Internet is like a tin can telephone. It’s just a rusty can until someone talks back.

    What are you making? What are you growing? What are you finding inspiring?

    I appreciate you.

    Sarah signed with a swoopy S

    Illustrations by Gracie Klumpp of Leave the Fingerprints. 🐞

    Read more: Shapeshifting into a zine 💫

  • Tenterhooks

    Sometime in the months after Davy was born I found myself saying I was “on tenterhooks” and realizing I had no idea what it meant.

    Photograph of dictionary entry for tenterhook: a sharp hooked nail used for fastening cloth on a tenter - on tenterhooks. In suspense, or under a distressing strain.

    A tenter is a frame with wicked looking tenterhooks that stretch cloth taut to make it flat.

    Black and white photograph of figures removing a large swathe of white cloth from a wooden frame with tenterhooks
    Black and white photograph of the same frame with fabric attached to half of it.

    Once I learned I knew it had to be a metaphor for a piece of art.

    Suddenly the word was more accurate than ever with a new visceral understanding of what it meant.

    Closeup photography of a wooden frame with wickedly sharp hooks piercing light brown cloth

    This work is done indoors now, but you can still see holes like this on some bolts of cloth.

    Closeup of the edge of a yellow cloth with holes from tenterhooks clearly visible

    Feeling curious? Tap here to read more.

    Image Sources

    Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary Fifth Edition, 1945

    Witney Blanket Story

    Wiki Commons

    Eleanor Pritchard

    Read more: Tenterhooks

  • Papaya Leaves

    A hyper focus project

    Sometimes I give the idea that I am “very organized” and have things “all planned out.”

    Reader, I do not.

    In fact, since becoming a parent I have very little structure and planning in my life at all. But what I do have is hyper focus. And I surf it like a wave whenever it comes for me.

    Act 1

    A neglected compost heap.

    I had big plans for a garden this year. I made a calendar with what to plant each month.

    There would be squash.

    There would be pumpkins.

    There was not squash or pumpkins.

    We made it to radishes before my back pain flared up and the whole garden (including the compost heap) was ignored for roughly 8 months.

    Act 2

    Enter Papaya Stage Left.

    Polaroid style photo of compost heap made of wooden pallets. Giant papaya leaves grow out of the top and a flowering tomato plant peeks out of the side.

    September 27th

    When I started paying attention again there was a giant papaya plant (tree… a baby tree y’all) and burgeoning cherry tomatoes taking over the compost heap.

    I learned it was a papaya plant with this cool identify plant feature iPhones have now. I double checked on Google and surely enough it was a match. The leaves are massive, but if we lived in a tropical climate they would get even bigger.

    A child's hands hold a giant papaya leaf the size of a dinner plate

    I immediately fell in love and knew I had to make art with these.

    I wanted to preserve as many as possible before the frost comes in and ruins all the lovely leaves.

    (I live in Arkansas so it won’t survive winter, but I’m holding out the smallest hope it might regrow from the root next year.)

    October 3rd

    I tried to press leaves in the largest book I own, but the edges stuck and out and eventually crumpled up.

    Giant Cosmos book clamped shut with my hand for scale. Edges of the papaya leaf peek out the edge.

    October 11th

    I asked Nathan to cut some plywood to make a massive flower press.

    October 12th

    I layered cardboard and leaves between two plywood sheets and put two heavy boxes of tubs filled with notebooks (which we pulled out of the attic for another project.)

    Giant papaya leaf with my hand for scale. It is the size of the back of a jacket.

    Hand for scale.

    This is one of the biggest leaves so far.

    Like I said, it’s trying to become a tree.

    Act 3

    Making it work.

    I had 3 mediums in mind for the leaves:

    1. Press the leaves to make imprinted pottery over winter.
    2. Ink the leaves and make monoprints on paper.
    3. Print the leaves onto clothing with fabric paint.

    I may get to monoprints, but I started with clothing using a bottle of fabric paint I had on hand.

    Results were varied, but I learned a lot about the materials.

    White test print of a smaller papaya leaf on a brown pillowcase
    White test print of a smaller papaya leaf on the back of a pair of green overalls.

    I started on a pillowcase and then moved to printing olive green overalls.

    This isn’t a DIY post, but I did learn that the best way to apply paint was a large flat brush and that you have to work quickly and thickly (but not too thick) so the paint doesn’t dry before the transfer. It’s also not the most washable technique. It will continue distressing with each wash so I will likely wash as needed using the gentle cycle.

    October 16th

    I printed two pairs of overalls and the back of an olive green chore jacket.

    Giant papaya leaf printed with white paint on the back of a green jacket with my hand for scale. It is roughly 4 times the size of my hand.
    I'm a nonbinary human with pale skin, green glasses, and short brownish hair caught on camera laughing by my then four year old. I am wearing hand printed overalls with giant white leaves and a black shirt. My hands are in my pockets and my gray green art studio is behind me.

    I’m wearing the overalls with my Gary Graham tee which feels full circle.

    I bought this white fabric paint in 2021 after seeing Gary Graham paint a dress on Making the Cut.

    I knew I wanted to paint a pair of olive green overalls, but didn’t know what I wanted to paint. Sometimes the seed of inspiration takes a while to sprout, but it’s always worth the wait. 🌱

    I am taking a selfie in my green overalls with white papaya leaf on the front. I am smiling and wearing green glasses. I have short brownish hair and pale skin.

    After printing these they reminded me of the S. S. Daley collection Dan Levy wore last autumn. I fell in love with these looks on first sight so it was probably an unconscious influence.

    I remember seeing the trench coat first and thinking “I want that, but with leaves.” Then I found the second.

    Giant papaya leaf with my hand for scale.
    Dan Levy on Instagram with an olive green coat and white leaves printed on it

    Photo Source: Dan Levy

    Wearing: S. S. Daley Fall 2022 & DL Eyewear

    Read more: Papaya Leaves

  • This week I’ve been doing a deep dive into Black Mountain College. It’s definitely an instance of orbiting ideas as Black Mountain College and artists have caught my attention many times over the years.

    This is my first deep dive and I’m fascinated that so many things I’ve been studied and been drawn to over the years: Buckminster Fuller’s visionary design, John Cage’s Happenings, John Dewey’s educational approach, Ruth Asawa’s interaction of life and art all converged in these mountains.

    I want to really go deep this time as I draw inspiration for a new project. I’ve ordered some books, but in the meantime I’ve been watching YouTube videos.

    Here are 3 of my favorite quotes with the videos they are from below.

    "We do not always create works of art, but rather experiments. It's not our intention to fill museums, we are gathering experience." Josef Albers

    “We do not always create works of art, but rather experiments. It’s not our intention to fill museums, we are gathering experience.”

    Josef Albers

    Black and white image of performance art. Actors swathed in white paper.

    “At Black Mountain there was no distinction between life and art.”

    Black and white photograph of a child building LEGO with a Black Mountain College documentary of students building beneath a geodesic dome behind.


    “The experiment was what would it mean to teach everyone to think critically.”

    I watched the third mini documentary this afternoon while Davy made LEGO art.

    I’m struck by how the concept of hands on learning through art aligns with my own views about home education. It’s all very exciting.

    Child building a line out of LEGO

    And then I found this video which linked Dewey and Freire in the progressive education movement.

    Which ties nicely to this short video about handwork vs brain work. (Leading to Helen’s book Leap Before You Look.)

    And another Black Mountain College documentary. This one is dated, but has an interview from an actual student (Jonathan Williams), “What appealed to me immediately was that everyone was available to each other and time seemed to be no problem. I had left Princeton because time was very much a problem. It seemed almost impossible to reach the faculty who were set up to do their one lecture or two lectures a week. And then suddenly they disappeared.”

    Jonathan Williams founded Jargon Press which is “predicated on this idea that there are voices and poetry being ignored which deserve to be heard.”

    On his process editing / curating, “You have to do the doing.” “Being self initiating. I don’t sit around waiting for these people to materialize. I mean I go out and find them.” He ties this to walking and hiking and Black Mountain College.

    Cross Pollinate 🐝

    More posts about Black Mountain College.

    Footnotes

    Carolina Finds. “Black Mountain College: The Most Influential School That Vanished.” 9 Feb. 2022 (Accessed 11 Febuary 2024.) https://youtu.be/C7foVazThjE

    Craft in America. “Black Mountain College, VISIONARIES Episode.” Jan 7. 2019 (Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.) https://youtu.be/IKnmWmQi5Ew

    ICA Boston, Helen Molesworth. “Life at Black Mountain College: Learning by Doing.” 7 Dec 2015. (Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.) https://youtu.be/Mze1rtN1OXA

    Craft in America, Helen Molesworth. “Helen Molesworth on handwork.” 22 August. 2018. (Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.) https://youtu.be/NxBZqA-Asvw

    “Black Mountain College: a Thumbnail Sketch.” Produced by Monty Diamond and South Carolina ETV. Documentary, 1989. (Accessed 11 Feb. 2024.) https://youtu.be/G3xSAew7vEU

    Read more: untitled post 156077306

  • Why I’m Breaking Up with Substack

    Over the last year, Substack has been one of my biggest creative outlets. I’ve spent more hours writing, podcasting, and engaging on Substack than anywhere else.

    I don’t regret the time I’ve spent there or the connections I’ve made, but it’s time for a pivot.

    If you don’t know about Substack yet it’s part blog, part newsletter, part podcast, part YouTube channel, and (most recently) part social media.

    Last month they introduced a big change to their business model.

    Their app, which was previously a chronological feed of long form blog style content, introduced an algorithm and put their social media style posts up front and center. It becomes increasingly obvious that they are going after the “Twitter market” and / or whatever brings them the most money. It feels like watching Instagram slowly become something other than a photography platform.

    I’ve seen this movie and I didn’t like the ending.

    My platform is small, but I made about $300 in paid subs last year. The week before Substack introduced an algorithm I had been planning to merge my paid tier with my creative membership program The Companionship. I had spent hours setting up Substack to host my membership program and course portal. And I put it all on pause because it didn’t feel right.

    Something I really dislike about Substack’s social media feed is how poorly it handles blocking and muting. There are certain topics that aren’t good for my mental health that I continue to see. Sometimes I even see posts or comments from people I have specifically blocked. With this in mind I did not want to continue using an app that opened a social feed I had very little control over.

    I deleted the Substack app.

    Black underwood typewriter with an orange autumn leaf

    And I’m loving it.

    I’m back to experiencing Substack as a newsletter again.

    PRO TIP: I use a special email address just for newsletters I actually want to read. (I actually did this the year before I joined Substack.)

    Without the noise of the social feed I’m quite enjoying Substack again. And I’m less overwhelmed so I’m actually reading more posts.

    But I am breaking up with Substack as part of my business ecosystem and I’m reframing the paid tier as a tip jar.

    Here are the changes I’m making:

    1. No more paywalled content. Instead I’ll send a special thank you card or letter in the mail once a year.
    2. I’m archiving my best Substack posts here on the blog. (Like this one.)
    3. I’m only sending out newsletters once a month instead of weekly.
    4. I’m blogging again. If I want to write something between newsletters I’ll write here and link to it.
    5. My membership program and course portal have moved to Ghost.org. Ghost is a nonprofit that has been around for a decade. I’m not moving my free list because it does not have the discoverability or user base that Substack does. But it is a completely private, algorithm free space that is perfect for a membership and course portal. It costs a flat fee of $9 a month and does not take any percentage of sales. I’m still in the process of setting it all up, but you can see how my Ghost portal looks here.

    My free newsletter will remain on Substack so long as engagement remains high and growth feels authentic. (If I see too many spammy follows I’ll move the free list to Ghost as well.)

    Right now I’m having slow growth on Substack and seeing new commenters who are engaging with my work. The comment system is strong and facilitates good long term discussions better than any platform I have ever used. So I’m not keen to lose that.

    Let’s Discuss.

    Are you on Substack? How do you feel about the changes?

    Cheers,

    Sarah signed with a swoopy S
    Read more: Why I’m Breaking Up with Substack
  • Notecards by a piece of paper scribbled in red and orange. Notes read: Before writing and drawing were separated they were conjoined. When I work with little kids I'm not there as a teacher. To me it's a language immersion class. Kids speak image. We draw before we are taught. Everything we have come to call art seems to be in almost every 3 year old. Lynda Barry, Making Comics
    Read more: untitled post 156079308