From the Compost Heap header. A pencil style illustration of a compost heap with flowers and plants growing around it. A bee buzzes by and a white rabbit hops by.

  • This Changed Everything

    My neurodivergent experience includes time blindness, which is magnified when working on a creative project and reaching flow state. This has some benefits, but one downside is that I have no idea how much time I’m sinking into individual projects.

    After one of the most creative years of my life in 2023 somehow 2024 was “Oops, All Admin.” My physical and mental health plummeted and you’ve watched me pivot and sunset projects as I’ve tried to rebalance my creative ecosystem.

    2025 has been an experiment in making time visible. I did this by logging time in a spreadsheet with monthly pie charts.

    I wrote a about this in March, but I thought it was worth checking in again after a whole year.

    UPDATE: After writing this one of you kindly sent me the EARLY time tracker app which does almost the same thing with much less friction. I’ve been playing with it for January and honestly it will save a ton of time that I spent tinkering with spreadsheets. (Thanks Katie!)

    Spoiler alert, my pie chart has become a north star for my creative process.

    My January spreadsheet started out by tracking writing and self publishing time like I do during NaNoWriMo. (Which is why zines don’t show up below.) When I reached days that I didn’t write because I was making visual art I added more columns.

    Pie chart. Stats in text.

    I can guarantee this pie would be almost all admin if I had not seen how big those wedges were and made the choice to dedicate more time to personal projects. Like my Artist’s Residency in Motherhood (ARIM) and my fantasy novel which I made a mood board for.

    Printed images for mood board in a pile on my desk including maps, trees, spirals, artifacts, hag stones, reflections, etc. My typewriter and antique keys are also on the table.
    Pie chart. Stats in text.

    When I saw how powerful this was I realized I wanted to track all of my creative projects this way. So you’ll see more categories moving forward including Mawd which is a working title for my novel.

    At the same I time I decided to migrate and completely redesign my website. Needless to say these were not the most balanced months, but I feel strongly about using this data to course correct and not to judge myself.

    With that in mind, I fully believe this awareness did keep the web design wedge from completely taking over the circle. And I managed to carve out nearly a quarter of my time to zine making.

    Photo of my desk with TETRIS and Wheel of Time Zines, scraps, ink and blue Aes Sedai mug
    Pie chart. Stats in text.

    I was still deep in the weeds of web design during March, but I knew I couldn’t continue the pace. I was noticing screen induced migraines and trying to spent more time on other projects. I also added a column for gardening.

    An embroidery frame holds a cross stitch that reads "I'm Fine". Back cover shows the reverse of embroidery hoop which is a tangled mess of navy blue thread. Text at bottom says March 2025. A Kindle Curiosity Zine.
    I’M FINE ZINE (READ ONLINE)

    By April I realized my dream of republishing all of my blog posts within a single year was not healthy. I’ve archived everything, but I use so many images and videos that simply importing them didn’t work and everything has to be reformatted by hand. I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever move everything. So I decided to focus on any blog posts I wanted to link to and have been moving those.

    This freed up a lot of time for various projects. The big pink wedge is work on my gleeman’s cloak to prepare for meeting Sharon Gilham, the costume designer for the Wheel of Time.

    May was incredibly balanced looking back. The weather was nice so we spent plenty of time outside. I made a zine about Chaos Gardening. Chipped away at my website. And kept working on my cloak.

    You can see the wedge for self publishing where I was ordering proofs from various printers (the very definition of “hurry up and wait.”)

    This wedge is even more well balanced than May!

    Almost a full color wheel which is funny considering June’s zine was Spectrum.

    Two zines and magazine clippings on a wooden desk with scissors, gluestick and pencils. Both zines titles are cut out magazine letters: Chaos Gardening with leaf rubbings and Spectrum with a hand painted watercolor color wheel.
    Chaos gardening & spectrum zines

    My cloak took over in July as I started recreating specific textiles from the show for new patches.

    It wasn’t long ago that I never would have dedicated this much time to something that was purely for me.

    Not my portfolio.

    Not marketing.

    Not for “content.”

    Just the joy of making something with my hands that connected me to a story I love and a community that is family to me.

    Tap to see my fluttering cloak in action.

    I’m now in a place where I see these kind of projects as essential to both my creative process and my mental health.

    This reset over the summer (when my energy is the lowest) was key to being able to self publish Entwined & Ember without burning out.

    Moving into August I was designing a lot of visual schedules and modular calendar elements for home education. I also started sinking some serious time into Entwined & Ember working alongside our copy editor. But I still reserved over 25% of the pie for other projects including zine making and gardening.

    Birdhouse gourds growing up gazebo of green pipes (a greenhouse without the plastic cover added) and a white metal house planter I thrifted beyond with morning glory leaves twining through

    I spent a huge amount of time making zines I did not sell at NWA Maker’s Faire (which I blogged about here.) It was mostly a great experience, but also exhausting. I pretty much crashed directly after even though it was only half a day.

    I keep wanting to attend more events, but when I do I’m reminded how hard they are on my autistic nervous system and chronically ill body. I don’t think I could manage a full day event – much less a whole weekend.

    Black and white photograph of Make a Zine zine using vintage text and an illustrated pointing hand. Visible text reads: What is a zine? A zine is a handmade magazine. Usually about a specific topic. Say Something. Share it. You can share physical or digital copie. Post on a blog or make photocopies to trade or sell. Leave copies in little free libraries or send to zine archives.
    MAKE A ZINE (READ ONLINE HERE)

    Suddenly Entwined & Ember were in final edits. Past years this would have been all encompassing, but you can still see 40% of my time put into other things: zines, gardening, blogging, even a bit of ideation for my novel (which was definitely a back burner project this year.)

    Collage papers and mini accordian zine on a wooden desk with a succulent plant. Images on zine include reflections, silhouetted figures, and trees bending in the wind.

    Launch month! Some of this was final proofing and the rest was fulfilling orders. I balanced the admin with zine making and two Wheel of Time related projects.

    When I started this anthology and art journal I had no idea how much energy they would take. I truly wish I’d tracked my hours since the beginning.

    If you somehow missed book launch Entwined & Ember are now available worldwide in hardcover and paperback. As well as free community copies to anyone experiencing financial hardship.

    Entwined and Ember books on a table with a teal green typewriter and library style drawers. Entwined has a collage cover with mother and child and hand illustrated vines. Ember has a burned wood texture on the cover.

    I’m typing this on December 29, but I’ve estimated the time I’ll put in the next couple of days. (I’m getting much better at realizing how long things take.) The biggest wedge this month is actually visual art! Which is something I haven’t had much capacity for this year.

    I’m actually working on diagram of my creative process based on this data for ILSSA’s open call. It’s inspired by a meander map showing the ebb and flow of various projects through the year. I’m still in the experimental phases, but if all goes well this will be the next art print for subscribers.

    What’s next?

    We recently decided on a printer for the limited edition hardcovers of How it Feels to Me – a picture book about neurodivergence and sensory processing I’m creating with illustrator Gracie Klumpp.

    We’re a little behind schedule (due to the print quality issues), but are aiming to release the book next Spring!

    Here’s a peek.

    Illustrated spread featuring a rainbow infinity symbol and characters who appear to be scientist, artist, astronaut and comedian.

    I’m not a spreadsheet wizard, but if you’d like to take a look at my Artist Log template and copy it for yourself you can see it here. If you’re fiddling around with it I recommend typing in numbers to make sure everything is adding up correctly. I changed mine every month so this isn’t really a template as much as a working model you can make your own.

    If your creative process was a pie chart (or another shape) what would it be?

    Cheers,

    Sarah signed with a swoopy S

    P.S. I “should” proofread this, but it’s nearly 1 am and I’m nearing migraine trigger territory. I may come back or I may not. Honestly, there are more important ways to spend my time this week. 💫

    Read more: This Changed Everything

  • Seeing Time ⏳

    As someone with time blindness I can very easily sink time into something without realizing.

    This year I’m experimenting with spreadsheets and time charts as tools to visualize time. Here is how 2025 has been looking (as of March 24.)

    January

    I had a lot of loops to close in January and it felt like a ton of admin. This was my first month tracking my time. The pie chart was a game changer. I started it mid month and the wedges for web & self publishing dominated the chart. It took conscious effort to put more time into personal projects to balance the chart out.

    Pie Chart shows Writing 31%, Web 32%, Entwined & Ember 20%, Artist Residency in Motherhood 15%.
    This chart visualizes how much time I spent on each creative project.

    Writing & Research (31.9%)

    Most of this was my fantasy novel Mawd.

    Web (32.9%)

    Mostly Substack – my own newsletter & wrapping up Neurokind.

    Entwined & Ember (20.1%)

    Admin for self publishing these books.

    ARIM (15.1%)

    This is time spent on my Artist’s Residency in Motherhood making visual art for My Brain on Motherhood.

    February

    This month my biggest wedge was redesigning my website. But seeing how big the blue wedge was motivated me to make time for other things.

    Pie chart. Web 59%, Zines 21%, Other 10-%, Mawd 4%, Picture book 3%.

    Web (59.0%)

    Redesigning my website and migrating my newsletter to Buttondown.

    Zines (21.1%)

    Making Not About TETRIS and working on illustrations for a zine about the spectrum of neurodivergence. My scanner died this month and created a lot of headaches.

    Other (10.3%)

    Designed two self inking stamps (folks with zine subs will see these soon) and sewing patches on a denim jacket.

    Mawd (4.4%)

    Work on my fiction novel. I’m in an ideation phase.

    Picture Book (3.6%)

    Admin for self publishing How it Feels to Me.

    March

    My website wedge is still the largest (although I have a few days to go) based on shop and subscription migration headaches. I hope to continue making this wedge smaller over time.

    Pie chart wedges in order of size: web, zines, Mawd, other, ARIM, garden.

    Web (38.9.0%)

    Moving zine subs from Big Cartel to Stripe, redoing various opt ins, migrating Neurokind to Beehiiv, archiving March blog posts, and writing for blog & newsletter.

    Zines (21.1%)

    Making I’m Fine zine and a few Wheel of Time mini zines.

    Mawd (12.9%)

    Work on my fiction novel. Still in an ideation phase.

    Other (10.1%)

    Sewing patches & picture book admin (maybe that should be separated.)

    ARIM (9.2%)

    Working on Bloom Where You’re Planted.

    Gardening (4.8%)

    I debated over logging this, but it is important self regulating work and part of my creative ecosystem.

    Reducing Admin Time

    I also did a bar chart showing the different parts of the process to see that balance.

    Here you see Admin & Prep decreasing and time to Create growing from January to March.

    I’m 90% sure this shift would not have happened without this visual tool. It’s too easy to get pulled into neverending admin and website tweaks. This makes me more aware.

    Bar chart showing admin going down and create time going up from Jan to March

    Top Tip

    I found tracking the time itself really hard until I started using the Tap When app. (Not a sponsor.) I tap when I start and tap when I finish. No math!

    P.S. My spreadsheets are in no condition to officially share as a resource, but if you’d like to see the imperfect version I’m working with I’m happy to share the template for you to make your own. Just drop me a line or respond to a newsletter.

    Image Credit: Prague Astronomical Clock via Wiki Commons

    Read more: Seeing Time ⏳

  • How it Feels to Be Time Blind ⏳

    Growing up I had no idea I was time blind.

    But I was already establishing coping mechanisms. Because I had no internal chronometer to distinguish between 5 minutes and 50 I would prepare for every outing far far in advance and find myself in a state of limbo unable to do anything but wait.

    This is effective, but is also a black hole for both energy and time.

    Doctor Who says "People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually, from a non-linear, non-subjective viewpoint, it's more like a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey stuff."

    People with time blindness tend to be chronically early or chronically late.

    It’s funny that the same internal experience can result in two such seemingly different behaviors, but it makes sense. One approach to time is a rigid controlled white knuckling. A hyperfocus that saps both time and energy from your life. The other holds on with a looser grip and time slips away.

    You might construe the first stereotype as autism and the second as ADHD, but time blindness is an internal experience shared by both.

    White Rabbit from Disney's Alice in Wonderland hopping frantically with an oversized pocket watch

    Now that I’m a mother I simply don’t have bandwidth to white knuckle my way through the day hyperfocusing on time.

    I cannot wait in the car for an hour. I do not have an hour to spare.

    Not to mention the chaotic element of a small human who has all sorts of urgent needs that can’t always be anticipated.

    How do normal people know when to leave the house to arrive somewhere on time?

    I never realized I was working SO HARD at something most people find simple.

    I was obsessed with planners a few years ago. I never would have described myself as disorganized, but this was down to the fact that I relied on a series of complicated systems to keep track of the most basic things.

    Lorelai Gilmore sits at kitchen table with laptop and says "Tomorrow at 10:00 Roz darling?"

    Like what day of the week it is. (I’m not kidding.)

    When Davy was in his human goat phase I gave planners up. As a result I’ve been flying blind for 3.5 years now. During this time I have learned a few things:

    First, go gentle on people who show up late and forget things. They are doing their best.

    Second, I really thrive with structure and systems.

    It’s impossible to overstate how much having a plan helps me.

    Structure frees up my brain for other things in a way that I can only compare to breathing oxygen versus being waterboarded.

    I’ve been metaphorically drowning for actual years now.

    Alice in a bottle floating in a sea of her own tears

    At first I thought the lesson I was meant to be learning was how to “let go” and embrace fluidity.

    There is nothing less helpful you could suggest to a human whose brain needs structure.

    The last few months I have been experimenting with themed days. With one focus per day my nervous system has improved dramatically. It also seems to help Davy. (We are both the type of neurodivergent who likes to know what’s coming.)

    But we all need different things.

    If your brain needs freedom embrace that. Don’t let people shame you and push you into a rigid structure if that doesn’t work for you.

    When we’re forced to work in ways that run counter to our neurotype it’s important to recognize this is legitimately difficult for us.

    Life seems determined to deal out changed plans, external deadlines, and an ungodly amount of urgent paperwork.

    When this happens we should treat ourself like we’re doing something really hard (because we are.)

    Without a plan my brain feels like it is on high alert all the time just trying to get through the day. Imagine a tennis player bouncing with bent legs ready to sprint in any direction*. That’s how I feel without a plan. It’s exhausting. And I am far more likely to become overstimulated.

    Professional tennis players

    *I know nothing about sports. But we were told to stand this way in Improv class and I quit immediately. 😂

    When our nervous system is on high alert we can help ourselves by:

    • providing sensory support (comfortable clothes, fidgets, movement, regulating environments)
    • seeking comfort (a cozy blanket, a favorite book or tv show, a cup of tea)
    • asking for help
    • finding someone to work alongside us (sometimes this is called “body doubling”)
    • rewarding our own efforts (treat yo’self)

    I could say more, but I’ve run out of time. 😂😂😂

    Read more: How it Feels to Be Time Blind ⏳