I’m an autistic adult with hypermobillity (recently diagnosed with hEDS) and home educating parent of an autistic child. I’ve experienced pain with handwriting my whole life and thought it was normal or my fault for holding the pen “wrong” when my joints are actually genetically different and need more support.
I’ve spent the last year testing out pencil grips and handwriting supports for myself and my neurodivergent child. I started with those egg shaped grips above and found they weren’t helpful at all.
Here are my favorites and the pros and cons of each choice.
The following are affiliate links. I bought these at Amazon so I was able to test and return the grips that didn’t work for me. I wrote more about why Amazon can be essential for some disabled, chronically ill, and neurodivergent people here.
P.S. After writing this post YouTube showed me this video of Taylor Swift using an alternative tripod grip because of hypermobile hands. Maybe I’ll try it out!
Are you new here?
You can see more of my posts about neurodivergence here. I’m newly diagnosed with hEDS, MCAS & POTS and will be sharing resources as I find them. The best way to keep in touch is my email newsletter or subscribing to my blog via RSS.
FOOTNOTES
* I found this after the video and ordered it for further testing. I’m looking for a supportive pen that takes normal size pen refills. If you have a favorite let me know!
That was Amazon Web Services being down. Shop elsewhere if you can, but our household budgets are a drop in the bucket for Amazon. They are raking in money selling cloud computing services to corporate businesses.
If you truly wanted to boycott Amazon you’d have to abstain from a huge swathe of the Internet.
Shopping online is accessible.
I’ve talked to so many chronically ill, disabled, and neurodivergent people who feel guilty about using Amazon.
Here are some of the reasons they may need to shop online.
They experience sensory overload in busy shops.
They experience chronic pain.
They have limited capacity and shopping is too draining.
They have compromised immune systems.
They have children who meltdown after shopping.
They need specific supports that are not available locally.
In cases like these, shopping online can be a necessary support tool.
Why Amazon?
Just because I link to Amazon doesn’t mean you have to shop there.
If you have the capacity and financial privilege to shop elsewhere you can easily take the time to find other places to source the products mentioned.
When I link to Amazon I’m just sharing where I bought the product. (I may also link to Bookshop.org or Libro.fm.) I also know that many disabled, chronically ill, and neurodivergent people are under or unemployed. And Amazon almost always offers the best savings for a price conscious shopper.
Especially for those with access to Prime shipping.
Free returns & exchanges
Buying a fidget, or a pencil grip, or a sleeping compression pod isn’t like buying a book. You sometimes need to feel the texture, to hold it, or to try it on for size before you know if it will meet your need.
Most sellers on Amazon have very flexible return policies.
When I tested the pencil grips for the video I’m making I was able to return the grips that won’t work for me—even though the packages have been used. Amazon will then sell these grips to someone at a discounted rate.
The Pencil Grip website not only charges the customer for return shipping, but will not accept any packs of grips that have been opened & tested.
As a small business owner, I understand. But as someone trying to find the right support tool without spending over $100 on pencil grips I’m thankful for the option to make easy returns. ***
It’s not all or nothing.
For certain purchases I may choose not to shop at Amazon. Here are reasons I may choose to shop elsewhere.
To shop secondhand.
To buy directly from an artist.
To support a small business.
To buy from good.store which donates 100% of profits to charity.
To support local bookstores—in person or online through Bookshop.org (for books or ebooks) or Libro.fm (for audiobooks).
There are many ways to resist.
I may not be able to quit Amazon. But, there are other ways I resist.
All of my books have free versions available to those experiencing financial hardship. (This will continue with How it Feels to Me. We are working on creating a professionally narrated video version free to all.)
Books sold through my web shop are author copies and Amazon does not get a cut of the profits! (Additionally, How it Feels to Me hardcovers are printed by Mixam and not sold through Amazon at all!)
We should stop expecting everyone to be perfect.
It’s easy to get fixated on where to shop and forget other important ways you can advocate for causes you care about. Instead of judging folks for shopping at Amazon, ask what positive action you can take.
Let’s stop wasting energy bickering with each other.
/ rant
Thanks for listening. I appreciate you.
If you’re also a begrudging Amazon shopper I hope you feel less alone. Guilt and shame are toxic and help no one. We’re all doing our best out here.
Cheers,
FOOTNOTES
* This is hyperbole. AWS is not the WHOLE internet, but is a huge portion of it.
** I left my own position as a university instructor last year for health reasons. I do write & sell books, but currently my creative projects are breaking even and not making a profit.
*** I recognize that making returns can be difficult and is not accessible for everyone. I’m really lucky to have a partner who takes care of most of the returns for our family.
**** Yes. I used an em dash in this post. I never use AI, but I have been picking up some tips from my books’ (incredibly patient) copy editor.
I was unmoored after the last episode and wandered around the garden centers until I came home with this fig tree. We planted it in honor of Brother Book.
Your name sings in our ears @hammedhamz. Thank you for bringing this beloved character to life. His spirit will live on in our garden and perhaps one day bear figs. 🍃
“What are we doing with all these links, anyway? We’re weaving the web tighter. Making introductions. Maintaining provenance. It’s meaningful, especially now, as AI systems work in the opposite direction: denaturing the links, melting down the chains of connection.”
I’ve been using Gmail for 20 years, but with their recent launch of AI and recent political leanings I am disentangling from Google products and creating a new digital ecosystem.
This will take time, but every shift I make gives them less data to mine and less power.
Fastmail
This January I switched from Google to Fastmail and I haven’t looked back.
It’s not free, but this is because they aren’t data mining your email. You pay a reasonable price and they provide a good service.
Fastmail is $5 a month.
That price includes using your own domain name (if you have a website) and you can set up multiple email alias.
For exmaple:
lists@yourdomain.com for newsletters
admin@yourdomain.com for admin
and a private email for friends & family
I’ve set up alias that are automatically sorted into folders and I am loving it.
Changing your email address is also a chance to start fresh and only subscribe to what you truly want to read. Leave those spam emails behind!
I’m an affiliate so if you sign up here a percentage of what you pay will come to me. (As thanks for referring you.)
If you have any questions drop me a line and let me know!
