Over the last decade I have been neuroqueering my creative practice. Setting aside neurotypical, able bodied, and capitalist expectations for consistency, branding, and profit like the ill fitting shoes they are.*
Looking back, the times in my life I was rigidly consistent I was run deeply outside my own capacity, which over time took a toll on my health (both mental and physical.)
Allowing my creative projects to fluctuate with my capacity, as a chronically ill autistic caregiver means that they ebb & flow. Seasons when my time and energetic capacity expand so does my creative practice. When I am experiencing a pain flare or focusing on caregiving challenges my projects shift into dormancy or ideation.
Having many different mediums means there is always something to fit my capacity.
I NEED ART TO LIVE.
Art is how I self regulate, how I co-regulate with my child, and how I process lived experience and the world around me.
Without art I go to a dark place.
For years, I had inflexible routines and self imposed deadlines that did not serve me. But the newly discovered fluidity of my creative ecosystem has allowed me to flourish in unexpected ways.
This meander map is based on my 2025 Artist’s Log which tracked the time spent on each creative project over the course of the year.
These undulating ribbons represent the four main streams of creativity I pursued in 2025.
Yellow: visual art
Green: self publishing and writing
Blue: redesigning website & blogging
Purple: zines
The process of crafting these prints took several months. Calculating stats, making a graph, drafting the meanders, testing printmaking techniques, paper & inks, creating collagraph plates with unraveling cotton twine, and printing each plate onto wet paper using the Provisional Press.
The prints were digitally combined for the zine cover and overlaid with a key on transparent vellum. This layer can be removed to display the zine as a diptych. The zine was hand typed on my 1950s Smith-Corona typewriter.
The concept and color palette were inspired by the meander maps of geologist and cartographer Harold Fisk.
The above text is from February’s zine. If you’d like a copy you can subscribe for $5 a month or buy a single zine in my shop.
Here’s a peek at how the layers work together with the transparency.
Here’s a peek at how the prints are coming out (ignore the buckled untrimmed paper). They will all be flattened, signed, and numbered. Each print is unique. Remaining prints will be added to my shop, and will be priced at $65.
Collagraph is a printmaking process I learned in university. It feels good to return to it after so much time. I shared more about the process (along with a few other test prints) on the blog a few weeks ago.
Thank You
To everyone who sent kind messages and preordered books after last week’s post about illustrating neurodivergence. Gracie & I really appreciate you and very excited to get this picture book into your hands.
If you’d like to preorder a limited edition hardcover you can do so here.
(Paperbacks will be coming soon at a lower price point.)
In Case You Missed It
If you’re having a hard time with the state of the world I wrote this for you a couple weeks ago.
* Neuroqueering is used here as the verb meaning, “the practice of queering (subverting, defying, disrupting, liberating oneself from) neuronormativity and heteronormativity simultaneously” as coined by Nick Walker Ph. D.
I’m back this week with an update on the picture book How it Feels to Me. This is a book about neurodivergence and sensory processing I’m co-creating with illustrator Gracie Klumpp.
It’s fully crowdfunded and coming out later this year!
Last year we ran into some challenges due to substandard quality of our first proof. Ultimately we had to explore alternatives and change printers. Every printer offered slightly different “trim” sizes which meant this process delayed finalizing the illustrations.
Now that we’ve chosen a printer we’re back on track and the illustrations are nearly complete. Later this month we’ll order the next proof and send the text to our copy editor and beta readers!
Here’s a peek to share how it’s coming along…
It’s completely magical to see my words come to life in this way!
Gracie’s using a cool combination of illustrated and photographed elements to visualize the concepts in this book.
We both see this as the book we wish we’d had as kids and hope it will help autistic and neurodivergent folks of all ages!
We’re running a little over budget (because of rising costs and changing printers).
If you’d like to help us bridge the financial deficit you can do so here.
Samwise: It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something.
Frodo: What are we holding on to, Sam?
Samwise : That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.
This is what I needed this week. I’m sharing in case you needed it too. If you’d like to hear Samwise himself you can watch the scene here.
We are all going through it.
So today I’m sharing some resources. First for mental health and then accessible forms of advocacy against the Shadow.
Last month I listened to the audiobook of You Will Get Through This Night by Daniel Howell. I can’t recommend it enough to anyone struggling even a bit with mental health (and who isn’t?)
Dan is a YouTuber who experiences chronic depression and social anxiety. He worked with mental health professionals to create a practical guide to supporting your mental health. Dan’s writing style and personal anecdotes make it feel like you’re talking to a friend who gets it. Particularly when listening to the audiobook. (And did I mention he’s British? Love an accent.)
You may even find the book (or audiobook) at your local library so be sure to check Libby.
So many of the tips are simple, but hard to prioritize.
I enjoyed it so much I think I’ll re-listen to it each winter.
Last year I made a zine with self regulation ideas that you may find useful.
I also have to share this beautiful painting by Amie McNee.
This is for anyone who feels their creative projects are frivolous or unimportant. Or anyone who is struggling with sharing their art right now.
Please don’t stop. We need it.
At the same time, if what you need right now is deep rest and reflection, that is an equally important way to tend your creative ecosystem. And is essential for making art.
Find Joy
Another important way to support your mental health is to find sources of joy. I loved this queer twist on this Caemlot inspired romance, Gwen & Art Are Not In Love. It’s a light read, YA romance (no spice), with neurodivergent-coded characters. The author Lex Croucher is queer and nonbinary.
I’m also on the third book in the Seaborn trilogy (queer pirates with magic) which I’m reading with the Livingstans book club.
Fight despair with action.
We all have different strengths and capacities. I’ve shared before that advocacy action items are often for able bodied and neurotypical people. Here are some ways to get involved if you aren’t able to protest and may struggle with phone calls.
Or learn about mutual aid. Here’s a recommendation and gifted book from Libro.fm (an indie alternative to Audible that supports local bookshops):
“We know that books can’t fix everything, but they can help us show up for one another. Mutual Aid by Dean Spade is free on Libro.fm for the next week (until 2/2).”
Even hobbits can do their bit to turn back the Shadow.
You’ll hear from me again mid February. I started weekly emails when launching Entwined & Ember and I’m going back to a slower pace for a while.
While the neurotypical world is chanting “new year, new you” many autistic and otherwise neurodivergent folks are just struggling to get the train back on the tracks in January.
Our family finds the holiday season quite difficult. Even with our best intentions to slow down and do Christmas in our own ways the change of routine and excitement always seems to tip us into dysregulation. Add to that distressing news, weather related pain flares, and chronic illness* and I have been having a particularly hard time.
Yesterday I spent most of the day in acute pain laying on a heating pad and wondering why my body had suddenly turned against me. I’m hurting today, but less intensely and trying to type this up while I can manage to do so.
I think it’s important to show the struggle and not just the highlights reel we’re all encouraged to curate nowadays.
If you’re not fine I made this for you a few months back.
Another regulating tool I can recommend Marina Gross-Hoy’s gentle workshop The Art of Beginnings. (Coming this weekend!) I love Marina’s work and although I can’t attend live I’m planning to brew a nice cup of tea before I watch the recording.
I’m am looking forward to Marina’s gentle presence as we begin piecing together our daily rhythm this January.
When I have the capacity I’ve been working on prototypes for a series of collagraph prints to represent my creative process (based on the data from my 2025 creative ecosystem pie charts.) †
I’m playing around with the form of a meandering river bed, and used the data to create four different paths for visual art, self publishing, blogging, and zines. Here are some mock ups in Procreate.
Then I’ve been testing different printmaking techniques. I’ve decided on collagraph (a process where you collage a plate to print from) with an unraveling cord.
The final print will be four different meanders overlapping each other printed on the same page. These will go out to my print subscribers at the end of January and will also be reproduced on the cover of January’s zine.
I’m keen to get this project done, but my body has been forcing me to pace myself and I am trying to listen.
Here’s a clip of me pulling a test print.
The inspiration behind the shape of overlapping meanders is from last year’s mood board and the meander maps of Harold Fisk. I’ve learned that my process ebbs and flows and will be writing more about this for January’s zine.
I also wanted to share a tip for anyone who’s interested in tracking your time.
After last week’s newsletter one of you kindly sent me the EARLY time tracker app which does almost the same thing with much less friction. I’ve been playing with it for January and honestly it will save a ton of time that I spent tinkering with spreadsheets. (Thanks Katie!)
Over the past few months I’ve also been working on the Alchemy (Trade & Barter) portal on my website. It’s framed as an immserive choose your adventure story and you can read it here.
It’s a whimsical invitation to exchange energy and art outside of the framework of money. Art for art. Book for book. Zines for zines.
Last January I opened a 26 year old time capsule and made a zine about it.
According to my timer app it’s been over an hour of typing (HOW does this take so long??) and my back is warning me to wrap things up. I’m going to queue this up without proofreading again. Thanks for your generosity and understanding.
I’ll be back next week to announce a new project.
Take care.
P.S. Yes, the title is a quote from Daniel Howell. If you know you know. 😉
FOOTNOTES
* I’ve recently been diagnosed with multiple chronic illnesses, but have not had the spoons to sit down and write about the experience. Soon. Maybe next month.
† This is for the ILSSA open call to diagram your creative process.
My neurodivergent experience includes time blindness, which is magnified when working on a creative project and reaching flow state. This has some benefits, but one downside is that I have no idea how much time I’m sinking into individual projects.
UPDATE: After writing this one of you kindly sent me the EARLY time tracker app which does almost the same thing with much less friction. I’ve been playing with it for January and honestly it will save a ton of time that I spent tinkering with spreadsheets. (Thanks Katie!)
Spoiler alert, my pie chart has become a north star for my creative process.
My January spreadsheet started out by tracking writing and self publishing time like I do during NaNoWriMo. (Which is why zines don’t show up below.) When I reached days that I didn’t write because I was making visual art I added more columns.
I can guarantee this pie would be almost all admin if I had not seen how big those wedges were and made the choice to dedicate more time to personal projects. Like my Artist’s Residency in Motherhood (ARIM) and my fantasy novel which I made a mood board for.
When I saw how powerful this was I realized I wanted to track all of my creative projects this way. So you’ll see more categories moving forward including Mawd which is a working title for my novel.
At the same I time I decided to migrate and completely redesign my website. Needless to say these were not the most balanced months, but I feel strongly about using this data to course correct and not to judge myself.
With that in mind, I fully believe this awareness did keep the web design wedge from completely taking over the circle. And I managed to carve out nearly a quarter of my time to zine making.
I was still deep in the weeds of web design during March, but I knew I couldn’t continue the pace. I was noticing screen induced migraines and trying to spent more time on other projects. I also added a column for gardening.
By April I realized my dream of republishing all of my blog posts within a single year was not healthy. I’ve archived everything, but I use so many images and videos that simply importing them didn’t work and everything has to be reformatted by hand. I’m not sure when or if I’ll ever move everything. So I decided to focus on any blog posts I wanted to link to and have been moving those.
This freed up a lot of time for various projects. The big pink wedge is work on my gleeman’s cloak to prepare for meeting Sharon Gilham, the costume designer for the Wheel of Time.
May was incredibly balanced looking back. The weather was nice so we spent plenty of time outside. I made a zine about Chaos Gardening. Chipped away at my website. And kept working on my cloak.
You can see the wedge for self publishing where I was ordering proofs from various printers (the very definition of “hurry up and wait.”)
This wedge is even more well balanced than May!
Almost a full color wheel which is funny considering June’s zine was Spectrum.
I’m now in a place where I see these kind of projects as essential to both my creative process and my mental health.
This reset over the summer (when my energy is the lowest) was key to being able to self publish Entwined & Ember without burning out.
Moving into August I was designing a lot of visual schedules and modular calendar elements for home education. I also started sinking some serious time into Entwined & Ember working alongside our copy editor. But I still reserved over 25% of the pie for other projects including zine making and gardening.
I spent a huge amount of time making zines I did not sell at NWA Maker’s Faire (which I blogged about here.) It was mostly a great experience, but also exhausting. I pretty much crashed directly after even though it was only half a day.
I keep wanting to attend more events, but when I do I’m reminded how hard they are on my autistic nervous system and chronically ill body. I don’t think I could manage a full day event – much less a whole weekend.
Suddenly Entwined & Ember were in final edits. Past years this would have been all encompassing, but you can still see 40% of my time put into other things: zines, gardening, blogging, even a bit of ideation for my novel (which was definitely a back burner project this year.)
Launch month! Some of this was final proofing and the rest was fulfilling orders. I balanced the admin with zine making and two Wheel of Time related projects.
When I started this anthology and art journal I had no idea how much energy they would take. I truly wish I’d tracked my hours since the beginning.
If you somehow missed book launch Entwined & Ember are now available worldwide in hardcover and paperback. As well as free community copies to anyone experiencing financial hardship.
I’m typing this on December 29, but I’ve estimated the time I’ll put in the next couple of days. (I’m getting much better at realizing how long things take.) The biggest wedge this month is actually visual art! Which is something I haven’t had much capacity for this year.
I’m actually working on diagram of my creative process based on this data for ILSSA’s open call. It’s inspired by a meander map showing the ebb and flow of various projects through the year. I’m still in the experimental phases, but if all goes well this will be the next art print for subscribers.
What’s next?
We recently decided on a printer for the limited edition hardcovers of How it Feels to Me – a picture book about neurodivergence and sensory processing I’m creating with illustrator Gracie Klumpp.
We’re a little behind schedule (due to the print quality issues), but are aiming to release the book next Spring!
Here’s a peek.
I’m not a spreadsheet wizard, but if you’d like to take a look at my Artist Log template and copy it for yourself you can see it here. If you’re fiddling around with it I recommend typing in numbers to make sure everything is adding up correctly. I changed mine every month so this isn’t really a template as much as a working model you can make your own.
If your creative process was a pie chart (or another shape) what would it be?
Cheers,
P.S. I “should” proofread this, but it’s nearly 1 am and I’m nearing migraine trigger territory. I may come back or I may not. Honestly, there are more important ways to spend my time this week. 💫
One last update before I shift into holiday hibernation. Socializing and changes in routine can take a lot of energy for an autistic. So we really prioritize gentle self regulation in December.
A Correction for the Boundary Zine
Last month I wrote about neurodivergent boundaries and shared a printable zine. I noticed that I accidentally left out the section on social supports (pretty important) so I’ve just updated the post. You can re-read and download the new printable zine here. (Everyone who bought a zine will get a little “tip in” of the missing section.)
Festive Recipe Zine
This month I was going to type up some festive recipes when I found the above image of my family’s cranberry relish recipe. I quickly realized most of my family recipes were from the “back of the box” and went down the rabbit hole to collect them all. These zines are going out to my zine subscribers and won’t be stocked in my shop. Just to minimize computer work for me this month.
I was busy all November fulfilling orders for Entwined & Ember (now out in hardcover and paperback!) Thanks so much to everyone who preordered and supported this project.
There’s now a free ebook option for parents in financial hardship. If you’d benefit you can download yours here – no questions asked. (You can also donate a copy if you’d like.) There are also a limited number of paperbacks donated during the crowdfunding campaign.
A note on publishing for a worldwide audience…
I’m using Amazon to print and fulfill orders for Entwined & Ember. I’ve made this choice for to offer affordable worldwide shipping (we have contributors from several different countries) and to make the book discoverable to anyone searching Amazon.
These were the books I needed as a new mum so I’m keen for as many parents to have access to these books as possible.
I want to clarify that orders placed through my website (or the crowdfunding campaign) are author copies and Amazon does not get a cut.
In case you missed it…
I filmed a zine and art unboxing last month. You can watch it by tapping below.
This week I’ve been soft launching two books that I’ve been working on for six years. I crowdfunded these books last spring and have been working on this project since I was postpartum… that’s been six years. It feels like I’ve finally given birth to twins.
Here’s a bit about the books.
Scroll down for more behind-the-scenes goodness. I probably have enough here for whole email campaign, but I’m sending it one email.
Entwined is an anthology of creativity & motherhood weaving together stories from mothers in United States, Mexico, Canada, England, Qatar, and M’chigeeng First Nation. Every mother has their own creative ecosystem. By sharing our stories we hope to inspire you to entwine creativity and motherhood in your own way.
Ember is an art journal companion to the Entwined anthology. It presents a variety of creative prompts (writing, observation, ideating, dreaming, and making) to help parents kindle their creative sparks. There are two versions Ember for Parents & Ember for Mothers.
Free PDF ebooks are available to anyone experiencing financial hardship.
And a number of paperbacks have been donated & can be claimed here.
Resources for Creative Parents
I spent the first two years of parenthood reading everything I could about parenthood and creativity. I still couldn’t find the book I was looking for so I wrote my own – a massive manuscript that became two books and two art journals.
Click here to read the book launch blog hop. Watch the crowdfunding video below for clips of some of the creative parents involved.
If you’d like to support this indie book project here are some ways to get involved.
Leave a review! (This is the best way to help these books reach more parents. Even if you didn’t buy on Amazon that is the best place to leave a review. If we reach 100 reviews we get an algorithmic bump!)
Buy or donate a copy. (If you’re not a parent you can gift a copy to a friend or donate a copy to a parent in financial hardship. If you would benefit from a free copy yourself you can claim one here.)
Tell a friend. (Share this post directly with a parent who would enjoy these books.)
P.S. For those of you who backed my picture book project – it is also nearing completion. Here’s a peek at one of the illustrations in progress by the talented illustrator Gracie Klumpp.
Postcards for Rewilding the Artist Field Guide by Gaia Redgrave, “In this hands-on field guide, artist Gaia Redgrave shares her Rewilding Journey as a neurodivergent, disabled person.”
A few years ago I wrote a post about neurodivergent boundaries. I had the idea to type it up into a zine and ended up completely re-writing it. I’m making this one available as a digital download. Feel free to print copies and give them away (just don’t charge for them.)
But to continue doing that I have to take care of myself.
Here are some of the things that brought me joy this week.
Making Mini Zines ✂️
Different types of making meet different needs.
Writing is analytical and helps me unravel my ideas. But it’s not the most regulating.
So instead of writing this week I’ve been making mini zines.
This one is using images from the mood board for my fantasy novel. A process that I paused for several months and am now orbiting back to. I’m really curious about how I can make my storytelling more interdisciplinary and how I can invert my writing from something I am doing for others to something I am doing for myself.
I’ll probably write more about this later, but here’s a timelapse of me making a zine.
Tap to watch me make a zine at midnight when everyone else in my house is sleeping.
Down the Rabbit Hole 🐇
I fell into a story over the weekend the way Alice fell into Wonderland. Once I started I just had to keep reading until I reached the end.
Non Player Character by autistic author Veo Corva (they/them) made me feel seen in a way I don’t think I ever have in a story before.
This book follows a diverse group of nerds becoming found family. If you’ve ever felt alone or “too much” or “not enough” I think you should read this.
+ 10 if you’re autistic, anxious, or otherwise neurodivergent.
+ 10 if you’re queer, gender queer or disabled.
+10 if you’ve ever been a fantasy gamer (tabletop or video game).
I can’t say much more without giving away plot points, but this is a beautifully written crowdfunded book.
I’m experimenting with an algorithm free way to share snippets of photos, videos, and links. I borrowed the idea from Katherine May to start a What’s App channel.
So far I’ve posted…
A peek at some test prints. (The final versions of these will be going out to my quarterly print subscribers this month.)
And I shared that I was enjoying Different, Not Less by autistic author Chloé Hayden. Which I’ve now finished. This book deserves a full review, but in short it was an informative and affirming view of autism & ADHD. 10/10 would recommend.
I’ve been doing my zine thing for about a year now without really finding the zine community. Recently I stumbled into a zine Discord (let me know if you want an invite) and suddenly found myself trading zines with other zinesters.
If you’ve wandered around my homepage you may have noticed I have a section for alchemy (trade & barter) that isn’t set it up yet. (Boo chronic migraines!) But it’s pretty simple.
If you’d like to trade (zine for zine, book for book, or some other creative swap) just let me know!
My zine collection (newest zine babies not photographed yet.)
I’m sure I’m forgetting something.
I’ll probably end up posting it to my What’s App tomorrow.
Thanks to everyone who reached out. I haven’t had the capacity to respond yet, but I appreciated each message and especially the two picture book preorders. 🥰
There seem to be a lot of cruel people in the world right now.
