Compost Heap – Page 5

February 1, 2024

From the kitchen table to NYC 🗽
Flashback to four years ago…

It was Christmas Day and I was sitting at the kitchen anxiously trying to finish a weaving to submit to an exhibition about motherhood.

Here’s a video showing the weaving process. I made data weavings recording each time I was interrupted by tying a knot.

I barely finished and photographed that work in time for the deadline. Looking back that first weaving (smaller and less textured than the one in this video) wasn’t a strong piece and I’m not surprised it was rejected.

But the rejection stung because I was also told off for being unprofessional by photographing my work on a wall that wasn’t white. I felt like the art world was a secret club I didn’t have the passcode for. *

The next year I submitted another weaving to another show. No snooty response, but it still didn’t connect.

One submission a year clearly wasn’t working for me.

So my 100 Submissions project was born.

This was an energetic shift from holding each submission so closely to casting a wider net.

I managed 11 submissions last year and the strangest thing happened…

Grab yours here.

Every submission connected.

11 out of 11.

There’s some bit of luck in submitting the right piece at the right time.

But I think the real magic was putting myself out there without worrying if I had a “chance.”

This led to…

– exhibiting my art for the first time

– speaking at my first author event

– my first publication in an academic journal

That’s a lot of firsts!

I’m going to share this process – not to brag – but to encourage you to put your own work out into the world.

I meant to share this process in real time, but I quickly became overwhelmed at the amount of admin work involved (emails, mailing art, etc.) and I couldn’t keep up with writing Substack posts too.

Here goes!

I kept track of everything in Notion. If you have the bandwidth I found this really useful because you can resuse / adapt submission materials instead of starting from scratch each time. This way you can build up some momentum.

Submission #1 – NWA Book Fest

Venue: NW Arkansas Book Festival

Cost to Submit: None

The first acceptance I had was to do a book reading and signing at a local book festival (NWA Book Fest). It was a great learning experience which I wrote about here.

Takeaway: Author events are a massive energetic drain.

What I learned was I simply I don’t have capacity for book festivals at this time. This was a very short appearance and it took me quite a long time to recover. So paying to be a vendor for a full day (or weekend) event would definitely push me past capacity.

Here’s a clip of actual footage of me after the event. †

“Success” isn’t worth it if it pushes you into burnout.

Submission #2 – Carve Out Time for Art

Venue: Instagram

Cost to Submit: $25

I considered this application to be a complete shot in the dark.

I was stunned at the invitation to takeover Carve Out Time for Art on Instagram. This one gave me big imposter syndrome, but was actually a delight. This was one of the first acceptance emails that came in, but the takeover itself didn’t happen until much later in the year.

The takeover is pinned to @carveouttimeforart’s highlights if you want to see.

Takeaway: There are more people out there.

Before I did this takeover I pretty much thought “everyone who wants my book already has it so I should stop talking about it.” It’s easy to fall into this trap when growth is slow or nonexistent. Reaching people beyond my normal subscribers brought a breath of fresh air. I made some new friends who followed me here! *waves* And sold a couple copies of my book. Not loads, but it broadened my horizons.

Submission #3 – Stay Home Gallery

Venue: Art Gallery (Paris, TN)

Cost to Submit: $10

Next, my textile piece Maternal Mental Health was accepted to an art exhibition about paradox in caregiving. Here’s a statement from the curator Tara Carpenter Estrada,

“In Together/Alone, the paradox of emotions between “never alone” and “very lonely” felt by caregivers is given the spotlight. The societal devaluing of care-work places the responsibilities of care (and self-care) on individuals. Without structural support, a tension can arise between love and devotion, and resentment or anxiety— the need for alone time, and the need for togetherness.”

Maternal Mental Health / 2022 / textile / 11” x 15” 17”

Stay Home Gallery is now closed, but you can see the show archived here.

Takeaway: Try to align your expectations with reality.

Because this was my first time exhibiting art outside university I really wanted to travel to the gallery opening. The whole situation was confusing because it was a hybrid show. On one hand it was a physical exhibition at an artist retreat – so I had to mail my work. But the main exhibition was on the Stay Home Gallery website. The physical location was not open to the public and was only seen by the artist residents. So there was no opportunity to visit and see the work in person. I was a bit heartbroken, to be honest, because my expectations weren’t aligned with reality. But it was my first tiny baby step into the fine art world.

Submission #4 – Ought

Venue: Ought: The Journal of Autistic Culture (Grand State University, MI)

Cost to Submit: FREE

The next thing I knew I was being published in an academic journal. My piece, The Benefits of Asynchronous Friendship, exploring my collaborative project with

Claire Venus was accepted to Ought: Volume 4, Issue 2 (2023) The Internet.

I wrote a short introduction to the article here.

I have a lot to say about this one that should probably live behind a paywall, but I found this process very challenging. I’m an academic – my day job is teaching university theatre courses – but I’m a theatre instructor. (Not an autism researcher.) And I’ve never written for an academic journal before.

Takeaway: Academic writing = time consuming revision.

The challenge came from writing a piece that was “too academic” to be creative and “too creative” to be academic. The editor didn’t quite know what to do with me. They literally said, “it is neither beast nor fowl.” 😂

In the end, we decided to treat it as a creative piece, meaning I had to strip out the research I’d done and root the writing in my lived experience. It was a stronger piece afterward, but the timing couldn’t have been worse. Trying to edit this piece whilst also running a crowdfunder almost killed me.

If I submit in the future it will be a visual artwork which wouldn’t require revision.

Submission #5 – Cut, Torn & Mended

Venue: Spilt Milk Gallery (Edinburgh, Scotland)

Cost to Submit: Free to Members

Cut, Torn & Mended was an open call for members of Spilt Milk Gallery including a virtual exhibition and printed zine. I submitted my bricolage, The Mental Load, which I created as a self regulation process after publishing my first book.

The Mental Load / 2023 / broken toys, detritus of motherhood / 28” x 25” x 8”

Takeaway: Virtual exhibitions are perfect for large or heavy works that are hard to mail.

There’s no way I could afford to ship this piece due to it’s size and fragility so a virtual exhibit & zine was a perfect fit.

View the virtual exhibition or purchase a copy of the Cut, Torn & Mended zine here.

Submission #6 – Anthropology of Motherhood

Venue: Three Rivers Art Festival (Pittsburgh, PA)

Cost to Submit: FREE

Anthropology of Motherhood Culture of Care was curated by Amy Bowman-McElhone, PhD and has traveled from Pittsburgh Three Rivers Art Festival to Dyer Art Center at National Institute for the Deaf.

This is also the only exhibition I participated in that had funding to pay the artists.

Experience this work in 360 with the YouTube app.

The work that was originally submitted was my 360 VR piece From Where I Stand. Once we started talking about the logistics of the VR headset the curators asked to show My Brain on Motherhood instead. It felt like a double acceptance because they considered both works worthy of exhibition.

I also learned that this work was not the physical object itself, but the video. This makes sense in retrospect, but wasn’t obvious to me until they asked to exhibit the video. I changed the details in my portfolio to list this as a video piece.

Takeaway: Video works are low cost. They don’t require framing or postage and are always “ready to hang” if a screen is available.

I have a few other video WIPs I need to finish up and get into my portfolio. I’m also keeping an old iPad to display works as needed.

Submission #7 – WoT Idol

Venue: The Dusty Wheel, YouTube

Cost to Submit: FREE

This one was just for fun.

Every submission was aired, but for me this submission was about putting myself out there and doing something for myself outside of my “professional” portfolio.

If you’re new around here I’m passionately dedicated to the Wheel of Time and have recently reconnected to the community. Last April I submitted a WoT Idol parody video turning Wheel of Time characters into Sesame Street style puppets. I wrote about the experience here:

Submission #8 – Spilt Milk Member Exhibition

Venue: Spilt Milk Gallery (Edinburgh, Scotland)

Cost to Submit: Free to Members

Do you hear us… are you listening? was “curated through an open submission to members, without a defined theme, nor a selection process. All members were invited to have their work included. The process of removing the selection committee allowed for a more democratic way of exhibiting our artists’ works, free of judgement or censoring and for all voices to be heard with equal importance.”

For this exhibition, members were invited to submit two works, and I submitted Meltdown and Meltdown Prevention. It felt like a nice opportunity to exhibit these works together and both were included.

If you’d like to see this exhibition it is archived here.

Takeaway: Exhibitions and open calls can come in many forms.

The way Spilt Milk Gallery includes both curated and member exhibitions is a big inspiration in how I’ve decided to structureNeurokind.

Submission #9 – Euphoria Quilt Project

Venue: Instagram

Cost to Submit: FREE

When I saw this project by

Euphoria Quilt Project I knew I wanted to submit a block, but I didn’t know if I had time to make one. Eventually I realized I could utilize the crazy quilting skills I’d developed while making my gleeman’s cloak and I made a quilt square from textured scraps.

This piece will be included in a quilt representing gender expansive joy organized by Eliot Anderberg. You can see some of the squares that have been submitted over on Instagram.

I wrote the following about my square, “Embracing into my neuroqueer and nonbinary gender identity means leaning into the fact that I may appear eccentric. I explored that in this project by using the “wrong” side of several fabrics and improvising a “crazy quilted” design. Gender expression is also tied up in sensory experience for me so I also included some soft stimmy textures.”

If you’re new here and didn’t know I was nonbinary maybe give this a read…

Submission #10 – HNDL Magazine

Venue: Instagram

Cost to Submit: FREE

HNDL stands for Highlighted Neurodivergent & Disabled Life and is a “magazine featuring the work of creatives who identify as neurodivergent, disabled &/or chronically ill”. Give them a follow over on Instagram.

My piece Domestic Archaeology was included in HNDL Issue 2 (Fall 2023).

Domestic Archaeology / 2023 / lost items

This was a piece I created with things we found under the couch. I wrote a bit about the process here.

Takeaway: Virtual publications are a very accessible way to share work without printing and framing.

I’m also noticing how this magazine has flexible deadlines which inspired the rolling deadline I implemented over at Neurokind.

Submission #11 – Queer Anxiety

Venue: All Street Gallery (New York City, NY)

Cost to Submit: FREE

After such a wild run of acceptance I was sure that this one was going to be my first rejection of the year. You’ll notice this is the second work I submitted to a queer space. I’m a baby queer – only openly identifying as nonbinary, ace, and neuroqueer as of last year. So I felt some imposter syndrome stepping into these communitites, but I’ve been embraced into these spaces with open arms.

There’s something about exhibiting in NYC that feels like a right of passage. Even when I was packing up my work to mail it didn’t feel real. Luckily I had some friends who visited the exhibit on my behalf and documented that it was. (Thanks to everyone who sent me photographs and videos. You can see my work in situ here.)

Meltdown / 2023 / shirt & clothing tags / 16” x 20”

QUEER ANXIETIES was curated by Blair Simmons, Eden Chinn, Sarah Hallacher, and Shuang Cai.

“Through sculpture, the 13 exhibiting artists make objects that stand outside of normative interpretations of usefulness and conventionality, thereby expanding our worldview and possibilities for engagement. If queerness is an act of making things strange (or challenging norms), strangeness identifies potential points of rupture within social conditioning.”

Takeaway: Submit the maximum amount of works possible (if you can.)

I actually created a new piece specifically for this call, but when I saw that there was the opportunity to submit 3 works I also included Meltdown and Unravel. It’s always nice to give the curator choices.

Some people have asked how I know about opens calls.

The truth is by serendipity.

Over the years I’ve connected with a variety of artists with similar overlapping interests. Many of them generously share opportunities (often on Instagram stories) which spark my interest.

Huge shoutout to these lovelies who often share art exhibitions and residencies:

Jocelyn Mathewes, Lauren Frances Evans, Catherine Reinhart, and Ashley Jane Lewis.

And Tamzen Bryant who shared the local book festival.

I’ve also really loved being a member of Spilt Milk Gallery who hosted 2 of these exhibits.

I hope I’ve demystified the process and inspired you to submit your work.

I wish you the best in making work and putting it out into the world. The next one I’m working on is a piece about roots for Motherlore Magazine. And if you’re neurodivergent I’d love to see your work submitted to Neurokind.

It’s not scary. We’re all people making things happen.

Cheers,

P.S. I’m rubbish at marketing, and this has been on my “to do” list for over a year. But I finally made a new footer to remind people I wrote a book / have courses / love comments. 🥰

I’m a Renaissance Soul so I always have lots of irons in the fire. Here are just a few of the ways that we can connect. (Psst… comments and shares are my favorite. And they’re free!)
1. Leave a comment!
2. Share this post.
3. Sign up for Self Publishing 101.
4. Subscribe or submit work to Neurokind.
5. Read my book Discover Your Creative Ecosystem (Curious what I mean by creative ecosystem? Start here.)
Footnotes

* We don’t have white walls in our house so I purchased a large sheet of white hardboard from the hardware store. There is a small hole drilled that lines up with a nail in Davy’s nursery where I often hang works to photograph them. I also have a smaller board I can set up on an easel and photograph in the backyard. Light is almost always the problem so I tend to use a tripod for portfolio photos even though I hate them. I also have a small white IKEA table I use to photograph 3D works. Here’s a peek at my set up. It’s a relatively inexpensive solution. If your work is small and lightweight you could probably get away with a piece of foamcore and a pin stuck in, but my larger works have needed a nail to hang from.

† (That’s Odo from Star Trek Deep Space Nine.) It took a lot out of me.
Read more: From the kitchen table to NYC 🗽
January 3, 2024

Stepping Softly into 2024

Not yet archived.

Still at https://sarahshotts.substack.com/p/hello-from-a-human-jungle-gym

Read more: Stepping Softly into 2024
December 5, 2023

How it Feels to Me Update

Not yet archived.

Read here: https://sarahshotts.substack.com/p/how-it-feels-to-me-update

Read more: How it Feels to Me Update
November 16, 2023

A wind rose in Charleston, South Carolina 🍃
“The wind was not the beginning. There are neither beginnings nor endings to the Wheel of Time. But it was a beginning.”

Last week I went on a creative pilgrimage to Charleston, South Carolina.
- I visited a library.
- I saw a tree.
- I met up with my “book club.” *
That’s the easy to digest version.

The facts, if you will.

But this trip was not about facts. It was about metaphysics.

For the uninitiated, metaphysics is:

“the branch of philosophy that deals with the first principles of things, including abstract concepts such as being, knowing, substance, cause, identity, time, and space.”2

This journey was about all of these things in a really intricate and profound way.

But first, let’s take a step back into the late 90s.

Observe Sarah, who has fallen asleep on the bed with a dictionary. Again. To the side of the bed is a stack of large thick blue books and several notebooks. If you thumbed through the notebooks you’d find clumsily written facts and lists of names.

Or carefully calligraphed prophecies.

At this point in my life I had no concept of neurodivergence or autism. But I had fallen for the deepest special interest of my life. When I wasn’t doing schoolwork or working I was thinking about these books.

The Wheel of Time.

I’ve written about this before, but it’s almost impossible to get across how important these books are to me or why. Here’s where metaphysics comes in.

There’s something about connecting with someone’s art that goes beyond the physical plane. Beyond logic.

It would be easy to say I love the characters, the genre, the use of language. That I’m drawn in by the depth of world building, the complexity of the magic system, and the sheer scope of the books. All of these things are true.3

Yet, I don’t think these are why I connect so deeply to this story.

It’s more ephemeral than that.

More metaphysical.

There’s something in me that feels seen by these books.

A sense of belonging and knowing that runs deeper than thought processes. A recognition at the soul level.4

The same feeling as when you meet a friend who just “gets it.” When the things that felt weird and unknowable about you become points of connection.

“You too? I thought it was just me.”

But it’s not just about similarities. Differences form this bond as well. And they expand your worldview. You begin to see the world through the eyes of your friend.

That is how I feel about these books. They see me and they also stretch me.

These characters were my peers. The fact that they weren’t real didn’t make their influence any less impactful.

I read these books at the height of my social anxiety. And I took away important lessons from the Aes Sedai. I saw their confidence and how they carried themselves in the world. I learned that perception can be more powerful than reality. And the that the truth you hear isn’t always the truth you think you hear.

I also saw teenagers leave their village and reshape the world. Everything felt possible.

When I finished the series I put the books on a shelf and didn’t touch them for a decade. (I talked about this a bit in my podcast chat with Morgan Harper Nichols.)

I didn’t realize at the time that my interests are a tool for self regulation and a lens I use to process the world. I had no idea what function they had in my life until they were no longer there.

In 2020 I hit rock bottom.

I couldn’t cope.

Then I started re-reading The Wheel of Time.

I’d forgotten how these books made me feel. I knew I loved them. But I also enjoy other stories and books that don’t have the same resonance. These stories are different.

They are etched into my bones.

When I re-read the Wheel of Time I’m always surprised at the curious mix of what I’ve retained – the details I know as if I lived them. And what became hazy over time.

There’s always something new to notice.

And in a story of 4.4 million words and 2787 distinct named characters I suppose there would be.5

Sometime after that re-read I also reconnected to the Wheel of Time community. I was surprised and delighted to find there were other nerds who still loved these stories as much as I do.

Even after all these years.

It felt like rediscovering part of myself that I’d forgotten existed. My joy at listening to livestreams on The Dusty Wheel was palpable.. an embodied sense of belonging. “These are my people.”

The more time I spend in this community the more incredible I realize it is.

There’s a generosity in spirit and a value in creative joy that I haven’t seen in other corners of the internet. The more I watched these people nerding out the more I knew I needed to make time and space for this in my own life.

This January I wrote down “Wheel of Time convention” and “Pilgrimage to Robert Jordan’s Notes” as long term goals. It felt impossible at the time, but also important. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine both would happen this year.

Intention invites opportunity.

After winning a ticket to WoT Con this summer one thing led to another and I signed up for Ogier Con – a small gathering of fans who were planning to make the pilgrimage to Charleston…together.

Instead of traveling alone I was destined to go there in community.

The wheel weaves as the wheel wills.

When I made it to the library I found myself reading Wheel of Time manuscripts with Matt Hatch, Tamrylin of Theoryland, Innkeeper of The Dusty Wheel.

In that moment, time collapsed in on itself. I existed in four timelines simultaneously:
- the moment I learned these notes existed
- thinking this trip was impossible
- writing the intention
- holding RJ’s notes in my own hand
Over time other hard core fan freaks joined us at the table. We’d each come with a different purpose.

My purpose was to study Robert Jordan’s creative process.

My curiosity about RJ’s writing process doesn’t come from a desire to replicate it. I could no more write in his particular style than you could teach a bird to swim.

But I’m learning that his process was messier and more intuitive than what I had come to accept as “the right way.” It’s given me inspiration to toss out the rule book and develop a writing process that works for me.

There’s something about the Wheel of Time that reverberates with the storyteller inside me.

It shakes my inner writer awake. I wondered if I’d feel that reading his notes. And I did. The more I learn about Robert Jordan’s writing process the more I see pieces of myself.

Don’t get me wrong. We’re wildly different people. But there are mundane similarities.

Looking at his notes I found lists. Facts, idioms, and so much research. He filled notebooks with information about plants and herbal remedies. Historical and mythological figures.

Other notebooks had a single list and the rest was empty.

(I vow never to feel guilty about abandoning notebooks again.) 😂

These were just the kind of notes I used to keep as a teenager. I had one small green notebook that was a collection of names – especially for writing.

I also have an obsession with collecting what I call colloquialisms. An interest originally sparked by their use in Robert Jordan’s writing, and expanded during my time living abroad.

For example, I love the contrast between

“I feel like I’ve been hit by a Mac truck.” (Mississippi)

and

“I feel like I’ve been pulled through a bush backwards.” (Ireland)

It’s even better with accents, trust me.

I looked up some of the phrases RJ had collected and determined they were from films. I can only imagine that he then studied those to work out how to create his own. He was an expert at this and it made his world feel rich and lived in. For example, a character who grew up in a fishing village says,

“You bore a hole in the boat and worry that it’s raining.”6

I love seeing evidence that Robert Jordan had similar drive to collect information.

There was a conspicuous lack of outlines.

Instead there were plenty of notes in a style that RJ called “rambling.”

These ramble files read almost like freewriting about the story. He seemed to craft his plot on the page. Not in an outline.

The first ramble file I read opened with a few paragraphs about Emonds Field – the houses, the economic structure, the village’s contact with the outside world (peddlers, grain traders, and gleemen.) Then he starts working through details. I love the bits where he asks himself questions or sets down two different options to consider.

“The peddler is dead(?)”7

“Tea: where does it come from?”8

“Lan falls in love with Eguene (?) or with Nyneve (?)”9

“????? the Rods of Dominion ?????”10

Many of Jordan’s early ideas are very different to what happens in the books while others remain unchanged.

I think my writing process could do with a bit more rambling on paper.

I already use freewriting to process experiences in life. So it feels like a natural fit to weave that into my storytelling.

I stayed in the library until a librarian came up quietly and asked, “Did you know we close at 4?” It was 4. I thanked her and packed up. I paused to look at the display outside the library. RJ’s old desktop computer was there with a sticker,

“Any sufficiently advanced technology will be indistinguishable from magic.”

I started a 15 minute walk to the Air B&B my rolling suitcases in tow. Along the way I serendipitously came across Ogier street. The Ogier are a forest dwelling people in the Wheel of Time who have a penchant for long winded stories and info dumps. (Sound familiar?)

I took a photo.

The rest of the weekend was an exploration of Charleston and the places that inspired the books.

We visited the Angel Oak, known affectionately by the fandom as Avendesora, the Wheel of Time’s version of the Tree of Life. I’ve seen live oaks before, but the scale of this one was otherworldly. It’s impossible to convey the sense of scale with a photograph.

The next day we walked the gardens of Harriet McDougal’s home (Robert Jordan’s widow and editor). We were given a tour by Maria Simons (Head of the Brown Ajah). Every time I thought we’d seen it all we would turn a corner or step into a passageway and discover more. A true secret garden.

I took photos of flowers to plant in my own garden next year (including these tithonia which the butterflies loved… I even spotted a monarch.)

Next, we met with military historian and author of Origins of the Wheel of Time Michael Livingston.

He talked about his own creative process and showed us around The Citadel – the military college where RJ drew inspiration for The White Tower. There was also an impromptu book signing at Robert Jordan’s desk, which is now his. Michael signed a copy of his fiction book Shards of Heaven for me, which I look forward to reading. It is a historical fantasy novel set in Ancient Rome.

I’m still processing everything I was able to see.

Most of it didn’t seem real. Kind of like seeing Big Ben for the first time.

And between every surreal moment was soul to soul connection.

The intimate size and setting of the gathering made space for expansive and meaningful conversation.

It was like a bubble of peace that existed outside of time and space.

A Dreamshard, if you will.

I went looking for Robert Jordan and I found his spirit alive in these people.

If that’s not metaphysics at work I don’t know what is.

Many thanks to everyone who worked hard to make this weekend come to be, and also to every single sweet spirit who was there.

You are all doing The Light’s Work in your own way.

Your names sing in my ears.

I’m in proper long winded Ogier mode today, but I’ll try to wrap things up.

Circling back to my creative process:

I’ll never be Robert Jordan.

No one will.

But I can be Sarah Shotts.

I can tell the stories that are important to me in the ways and timelines that are right for me. My goal isn’t capitalistic success, but creative expression. To make something that’s true to me and share it with others who may find bits of themselves in it.

I’ll always have multiple projects. But I’m learning how to them weave them together. One project bubbling away in the slow cooker. One on the stovetop. And another fermenting in a dark cupboard.11

That cupboard is where my fiction writing has been. It’s time to wake up that sourdough starter and start proving some bread.

Kindle Curiosity is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

Let’s discuss.

Do you have any projects in the fermentation cupboard you’re ready to pull out?

Have you ever had a creative pilgrimage? Where did you go and what did you learn?

Cheers,

P.S. Did you miss my first post about rediscovering Wheel of Time? Catch it here.

P.P.S. Want to know more about The Wheel of Time? I wrote this for you.

Footnotes

1

We realized over the weekend that the easiest way to explain why 12 strangers were flying across the country to visit a library and an old tree was simply to call ourselves a book club. It worked on my chiropractor.

2

Metaphysics definition via Oxford Languages

3

Also true, and something I love about this fandom is that we each bring our own criticisms to these books we love. I don’t love these books in a way that is infallible. I know they are flawed. Everything human is. And I love them anyway.

4

Perhaps I should reread John O’Donohue’s Anam Cara with this in mind. Maybe there are answers there. (Anam Cara means “soul friend” in Gaelic.)

5

For the curious that’s 88 NaNoWriMo novels. The reason I went for words instead of pages.

6

Siuan Sanche, The Great Hunt by: Robert Jordan

7

Box 20, EOTW Revision #1, Filename: Ramblings, pg. 10 (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

8

Box 24, Folder 1, TGH, “Misc Random thoughts” (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

9

Box 24, Folder 1 “Notes on course of books” (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

10

Box 75, Folder 2, “Additional White Goddess Notes” (James Oliver Rigney, Jr., papers, College of Charleston Libraries, Charleston, SC, USA.)

11

It turns out fermentation is actually a key part of my creative process, and not one I’m going to feel guilty about any more. Maybe I’ll write more about this another day.
Read more: A wind rose in Charleston, South Carolina 🍃
October 18, 2023

Papaya Leaves
A hyper focus project

Sometimes I give the idea that I am “very organized” and have things “all planned out.”

Reader, I do not.

In fact, since becoming a parent I have very little structure and planning in my life at all. But what I do have is hyper focus. And I surf it like a wave whenever it comes for me.

Act 1

A neglected compost heap.

I had big plans for a garden this year. I made a calendar with what to plant each month.

There would be squash.

There would be pumpkins.

There was not squash or pumpkins.

We made it to radishes before my back pain flared up and the whole garden (including the compost heap) was ignored for roughly 8 months.

Act 2

Enter Papaya Stage Left.

September 27th

When I started paying attention again there was a giant papaya plant (tree… a baby tree y’all) and burgeoning cherry tomatoes taking over the compost heap.

I learned it was a papaya plant with this cool identify plant feature iPhones have now. I double checked on Google and surely enough it was a match. The leaves are massive, but if we lived in a tropical climate they would get even bigger.

I immediately fell in love and knew I had to make art with these.

I wanted to preserve as many as possible before the frost comes in and ruins all the lovely leaves.

(I live in Arkansas so it won’t survive winter, but I’m holding out the smallest hope it might regrow from the root next year.)

October 3rd

I tried to press leaves in the largest book I own, but the edges stuck and out and eventually crumpled up.

October 11th

I asked Nathan to cut some plywood to make a massive flower press.

October 12th

I layered cardboard and leaves between two plywood sheets and put two heavy boxes of tubs filled with notebooks (which we pulled out of the attic for another project.)

Hand for scale.

This is one of the biggest leaves so far.

Like I said, it’s trying to become a tree.

Act 3

Making it work.

I had 3 mediums in mind for the leaves:
1. Press the leaves to make imprinted pottery over winter.
2. Ink the leaves and make monoprints on paper.
3. Print the leaves onto clothing with fabric paint.
I may get to monoprints, but I started with clothing using a bottle of fabric paint I had on hand.

Results were varied, but I learned a lot about the materials.

I started on a pillowcase and then moved to printing olive green overalls.

This isn’t a DIY post, but I did learn that the best way to apply paint was a large flat brush and that you have to work quickly and thickly (but not too thick) so the paint doesn’t dry before the transfer. It’s also not the most washable technique. It will continue distressing with each wash so I will likely wash as needed using the gentle cycle.

October 16th

I printed two pairs of overalls and the back of an olive green chore jacket.

I’m wearing the overalls with my Gary Graham tee which feels full circle.

I bought this white fabric paint in 2021 after seeing Gary Graham paint a dress on Making the Cut.

I knew I wanted to paint a pair of olive green overalls, but didn’t know what I wanted to paint. Sometimes the seed of inspiration takes a while to sprout, but it’s always worth the wait. 🌱

After printing these they reminded me of the S. S. Daley collection Dan Levy wore last autumn. I fell in love with these looks on first sight so it was probably an unconscious influence.

I remember seeing the trench coat first and thinking “I want that, but with leaves.” Then I found the second.

Photo Source: Dan Levy

Wearing: S. S. Daley Fall 2022 & DL Eyewear
Read more: Papaya Leaves
October 10, 2023

Why I’m Breaking Up with Substack
Over the last year, Substack has been one of my biggest creative outlets. I’ve spent more hours writing, podcasting, and engaging on Substack than anywhere else.

I don’t regret the time I’ve spent there or the connections I’ve made, but it’s time for a pivot.

If you don’t know about Substack yet it’s part blog, part newsletter, part podcast, part YouTube channel, and (most recently) part social media.

Last month they introduced a big change to their business model.

Their app, which was previously a chronological feed of long form blog style content, introduced an algorithm and put their social media style posts up front and center. It becomes increasingly obvious that they are going after the “Twitter market” and / or whatever brings them the most money. It feels like watching Instagram slowly become something other than a photography platform.

I’ve seen this movie and I didn’t like the ending.

My platform is small, but I made about $300 in paid subs last year. The week before Substack introduced an algorithm I had been planning to merge my paid tier with my creative membership program The Companionship. I had spent hours setting up Substack to host my membership program and course portal. And I put it all on pause because it didn’t feel right.

Something I really dislike about Substack’s social media feed is how poorly it handles blocking and muting. There are certain topics that aren’t good for my mental health that I continue to see. Sometimes I even see posts or comments from people I have specifically blocked. With this in mind I did not want to continue using an app that opened a social feed I had very little control over.

I deleted the Substack app.

And I’m loving it.

I’m back to experiencing Substack as a newsletter again.

PRO TIP: I use a special email address just for newsletters I actually want to read. (I actually did this the year before I joined Substack.)

Without the noise of the social feed I’m quite enjoying Substack again. And I’m less overwhelmed so I’m actually reading more posts.

But I am breaking up with Substack as part of my business ecosystem and I’m reframing the paid tier as a tip jar.

Here are the changes I’m making:
1. No more paywalled content. Instead I’ll send a special thank you card or letter in the mail once a year.
2. I’m archiving my best Substack posts here on the blog. (Like this one.)
3. I’m only sending out newsletters once a month instead of weekly.
4. I’m blogging again. If I want to write something between newsletters I’ll write here and link to it.
5. My membership program and course portal have moved to Ghost.org. Ghost is a nonprofit that has been around for a decade. I’m not moving my free list because it does not have the discoverability or user base that Substack does. But it is a completely private, algorithm free space that is perfect for a membership and course portal. It costs a flat fee of $9 a month and does not take any percentage of sales. I’m still in the process of setting it all up, but you can see how my Ghost portal looks here.
My free newsletter will remain on Substack so long as engagement remains high and growth feels authentic. (If I see too many spammy follows I’ll move the free list to Ghost as well.)

Right now I’m having slow growth on Substack and seeing new commenters who are engaging with my work. The comment system is strong and facilitates good long term discussions better than any platform I have ever used. So I’m not keen to lose that.

Let’s Discuss.

Are you on Substack? How do you feel about the changes?

Cheers,
Read more: Why I’m Breaking Up with Substack
September 28, 2023

Please stop calling yourself an HSP. 😫
Hyper sensitivity is real, but the term HSP dehumanizes autistic people.

…

Ok, deep breath.

…

I needed to pull you in with the title, but that may have flared up your nervous system. Let’s start over.

I’m mindful that I’m addressing sensitive humans.

You might find it hard to change your mind because it means admitting that you’re wrong. I get it.

I’ve felt that way too.

We’re all imperfect humans trying to understand the world around us. Let me be clear that I’m not saying anyone is a bad person.

But I am asking you to stop doing something that is hurting me, and I hope you’ll listen. My heart is beating like crazy while I type this, but HSP is trending and it’s only getting more popular.

I don’t think the sensitive souls using it realize how much pain it is causing autistics like myself.

I’m asking you to open yourself to the possibility that you might be using a term you do not fully understand.

Did you know the term HSP is based on the book “Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron?

I want to be clear that my issue with HSP is rooted in Aron’s writings. (She coined the term.) I have no doubt that you are highly sensitive and that your body processes sensory input in an intense way. I also remember the relief at realizing that truth for myself and reframing my sensitivity as a difference and not a character flaw.

The term “highly sensitive person” sounds universal and harmlesss. But unfortunately HSP carries a lot of baggage and pain for any autistic person familiar with this book.

Here is a direct quote from Aron concerning autistic people,

“Their problem seems to be a difficulty recognizing where to focus attention and what to ignore.

When speaking with someone, they may find the person’s face no more important to look at than the pattern on the floor or the type of lightbulbs in the room.

Naturally they can complain intensely about being overwhelmed by stimulation… but in social situations, especially they more often notice something irrelevant, whereas HSPs would be paying more attention to subtle facial expressions, at least when not overaroused.”

This passage alone expresses a deeply ill informed and outdated conception of autism. This is unsurprising because the book was first published in 1996 … long before the neurodiversity movement.

Aron’s views toward autistics are harmful and blatantly inaccurate.
- Many autistics are acutely aware of facial expressions and may even be hyper empathic. *
- It is a myth that all autistic people struggle with eye contact. †
- When autistic people do struggle with eye contact one of the main causes is sensory overload. ‡
- It is dehumanizing to judge what the autistic person is looking at or noticing as irrelevant. (Yes, we do notice small details sometimes! But it doesn’t mean we aren’t listening if we aren’t reacting the way you expect.)
This book was published in 1996. It is outdated and should go out of print.

Before we go any further it’s really important to start with this:

If you’ve met one autistic person you’ve met one autistic person.

If you know someone who is autistic you may think that you understand autism, but we are each incredibly unique.

One person may love loud music the other might cover their ears.

One kid plays elbow deep in mud the other can’t bear to touch it.

One person loves running into the ocean the other can’t shower because they hate feeling water on their face.

No single person has every autistic trait.

This is why we say autism is a spectrum.

Imagine it like a color wheel.

Each color is a different intensity of a certain autistic trait.

If you identify as HSP you may not identify fully with autism at this time.

That is okay.

You could always call yourself “highly sensitive” or “hyper sensitive” or even just “sensitive.”

But it’s not okay to call yourself an HSP when the term perpetuates harmful stereotypes against autism.

I read the HSP book long ago, when I thought I myself might be an HSP and not autistic. So I know the main premise of the book is that your sensitivity is a difference and not a disorder.

I agree!

And guess what?

It’s no longer the 90’s, and there is better language for that.

Neurodiversity

What is neurodiversity?

“‘Neurodiversity’ is a term that suggests the human race is improved by having a diversity of different kinds of brains – like biodiversity in nature, having lots of different brains in a society means we have people with different strengths who can work together.” §

If you experience more sensitivity than the average person you are… neurodivergent.

It’s that simple.

If you identify as highly sensitive you are welcome and invited to identify as neurodivergent.

No diagnosis necessary.

But… you might also be autistic.

Sensory differences are central to the autistic experience.

Many of us believe that our sensory differences are the root cause of all other differences.

Just look at these two brains.

It is clear that the autistic brain (left) is processing much more sensory input than the brain on the right (neurotypical.) Differences in sensory integration may be directly related to language differences, social differences, etc.

There are also so many autistic strengths that are never mentioned! All of that extra information that our brain doesn’t filter out as “unnecessary” makes us excel at pattern recognition and problem solving. Autistic brains notice and make connections that neurotypical don’t even perceive.

But you may not realize this because even the professionals can’t all agree on what adult autism looks like.

Did you know that there isn’t a fixed diagnostic criteria for autism in adults?

They are using a test that was developed for kids and the whole process needs to be reformed. New research is slowly coming in that validates unstereotypical autistic experience.

The field of autism is in flux.

Early autism research was limited to aggressive nonspeaking white boys for a long time and only recently has the field begun to realize the variety of presentations autism can take. **

If you identify as hyper sensitive I’d really encourage you to follow some autistic adults to learn more about the autistic experience and to do some more research on “masked autism”.

Whatever you do I ask that you don’t think of autistic people as “less than” and see more of a kinship in our hypersensitive (or hyposensitive) experiences.

Not sure where to start?

Read my “What is autism?” post.

Visit my library of neurodiversity affirming resources for podcasts, videos, books & more.

Or subscribe for monthly-ish emails from me. I share my own lived experience and often write about creativity and neurodivergence.

As an autistic mum of an autistic kid this topic is close to my heart.

Right now I’m working on a picture book about sensory processing with autistic artist Gracie Klumpp. If you’d like to support the project you can preoder a copy (or donate one to a school or library) here.

FOOTNOTES

* Why so many women don’t know they’re autistic with Katherine May. Glennon Doyle’s We Can Do Hard Things Episode 220.

† Fact or fiction: people with autism never make eye contact. https://www.universiteitleiden.nl/en/news/2023/03/fact-or-fiction-people-with-autism-never-make-eye-contact

‡ How do adults and teens with self-declared Autism Spectrum Disorder experience eye contact? A qualitative analysis of first-hand accounts https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5705114/

§ Autism Resource Page https://katherine-may.co.uk/autism-resource-page

** Gender Differences in Misdiagnosis and Delayed Diagnosis among Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorder

Racial/Ethnic Disparities in the Identification of Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders

Image Credits

Birds Flying: Bernard Hermant via Unsplash

Illustration by @autistic_sketches on Instagram

Brain Scan images via Schneider Lab
Read more: Please stop calling yourself an HSP. 😫
September 14, 2023

Neurodivergent Friendship

Not yet archived.

Read here: https://sarahshotts.substack.com/p/neurodivergent-friendship

Read more: Neurodivergent Friendship
August 15, 2023

The Value of Creative Joy

And rediscovering The Wheel of Time 🐉

Today I want to talk about creative joy.

Reconnecting to The Wheel of Time has reminded me what creativity felt like before it got all tangled up in career and profession and entrepreneurship.

For the last decade my creative energy has been focused outwards.

Everything I did became fodder for “content” on Instagram, YouTube, or (eventually) Substack.

I love documenting the process, but the frame of creative business definitely impacted the types of things I chose to make and spend my time on. This was particularly tangled up in “positioning” myself as a professional artist & author.

Certain parts of my identity got lost along the way. I’m in the process of untangling it all which I wrote about a few months ago: I’m not a brand. I’m a human. 🫀

What I didn’t share then is that rediscovering my humanity was largely tied up in a book series called The Wheel of Time.

14 Blue Wheel of Time Books (image credit: Juniper Books)

During my teenage years I had basically no friends my own age. What I did have was The Wheel of Time. I logged in to a fansite called Wotmania every morning and later on a fan fiction site called Silklatern. The interactions I had with other fans was the one place that I really “fit in”.

Navigating two degrees as an undiagnosed autistic took pretty much all of my social energy. During that time I completely lost touch with fandom and reading for fun. By the time I finished my postgraduate studies I’d pretty much forgotten what it felt like to get lost in a book.

Enter 2020. I had a one year old baby. The world was chaos. And I turned to… The Wheel of Time. I pulled the Eye of the World off my shelf and fell into a world of magic that I knew and loved. The characters were old friends and the story was comforting in its familiarity, but that wasn’t all.

Rereading the books awakened something in me.

A creative spark. It is no coincidence that these are the books I was reading when I starting writing my first book, Discover Your Creative Ecosystem.

The writing of Robert Jordan just has this effect on me. I love other authors and other books, but the Wheel of Time is etched into my bones.

Myself in a multi colored patchwork gleeman’s cloak at WotCon 2023. Thanks to the volunteer photographers at WotCon for this shot.

It’s hard to explain. It’s… ineffable.

But there must be some kind of soul connection to something in this story for me. Why do we love the stories we love? It’s something I’m really curious about. It always feels flat and superficial when I try to explain.

The Wheel of Time has always inspired me to create. I high school I filled notebooks and notebooks with world building. I made sketches of costumes and drafted stories and put myself to sleep imagining characters in worlds of my own.

I gave up writing somewhere along the way, but after self publishing my first book I’ve also started writing fiction again. I’ve been working on a fantasy story that I’d like to tell for the last two NaNoWriMo’s and I’m ready to start working on it year round.

Meanwhile I have felt the ta’veren tug (if you know you know) pulling me deeper and deeper into WoT fandom community.

It’s becoming an important part of my life so you can probably expect to hear more about it here.

It all started in March when I created a muppet style puppet for a song parody contest… an in world version of These are the People in Your Neighborhood. The first project I’ve done purely for creative joy in YEARS. 🤯

Fluffy purple Ogier puppet with large ping pong ball eyes, a wide purple nose, and tufted ears. Ogier are book loving creative souls and I feel a deep kinship with them.

This was in no way for my portfolio, content marketing, or even something for my family. It was a gift for the Wheel of Time community and complete joy to make.

I really loved the challenge of creating in a brand new medium (I’d never made a puppet before) and figuring it out through trial and error. I drew on various creative skills in a way I haven’t done since working on set and props during my undergraduate degree.

Almost immediately after finishing it I jumped into another project. A gleeman’s cloak.

Something I noticed about making something for me was that I didn’t have to fuss over setting up a camera to film or creating perfect process photos.

I wasn’t making this for DIY content. I was making it for me.

Because of this I worked for many hours at the kitchen table (much less photogenic than my studio) simply because I could cut squares or I could sew while Davy role played as Link from Zelda.

I wrote a bit about that here.

Multicolored and textured patches for my cloak. These are 209 out of 350 patches required.

I sat down to write about the cloak itself today, but instead I found myself wanting to share the story behind how it came to be.

The shift that opened up “time” for something like this. News flash: I didn’t actually have more time. I just used my time differently. I spent a similar amount of time last summer making this.

And the value I’m finding in creative joy.

Let’s discuss.

What would you make if you had a dedicated period of time where you couldn’t do anything productive and had to let yourself play?

Where do you find creative joy?

Cheers,

Read more: The Value of Creative Joy
June 16, 2023

Somewhere Under the Rainbow

Not yet archived.

Read here: https://sarahshotts.substack.com/p/somewhere-inside-the-rainbow

Read more: Somewhere Under the Rainbow